Sunday, May 15, 2005 - hai.. : ah well. had dance prac yday. twas pretty interesting - although it isnt my first pas de deux (pair work sequence). now my hamstrings n butt hurts.

hai....well, my spiritual life is NOT doing so gd. God is spiralling out of my life. n the world is spiralling back into the centre. n when God spirals out of my life, i cant resist temptation 4 much longer. all this bcus i failed to obey. haaai.... i cld hear God calling 4 me to leave dance behind after SYF n follow Him. but i failed to listen. n now im eating the consequences. not tt it is His punishment but rather the aftermath of a poor desicion on my part. well to be frank. i hvnt found something which i can really like doing n sustain it. i thought drama was the one, but after the end of sec sch, it really wasnt my thing. but after joining dance, i found my truest vessel of expression. a pity tt i cant dance 4 myself, for the simple fact tt in doing so i dance 4 the world, n anything of the world is God's enemy, n dancing for the world does NOT glorify God. n so God has given me this passion not 4 the world but 4 Him. to be his athelete in Christ. hai... i feel its a tad late 4 me to let go now, lest a certain individual eats me 4 dinner.

but wat saddens me the most is tt i cant join dance in SAF or NUS (or any uni for tt matter, if i ever do get into uni). all tt i can do is to dance 4 God in His ministry. hai... n so i pray 4 forgiveness...n the affirmation of my word tt i will wholly pursue God after all this is over. Amen..

C.K blogged at 5:46 AM