Tuesday, July 05, 2005 - . : "God. is it me? is it the way i speak? is it what i do? where did i go wrong? i tried. so hard. i tried so hard to change and i did. yet nothing seems to change. she seems to just see what she wants to see. she hears what she wants to hear, says what she wants to say. shes so blinded by this world, that she trusts in the power of the world than Your ability. i try to talk to her, i try to tell her how to free herself, yet she tells me to not call her mother and go to You instead. it cuts my heart to hear that from her. GOD. im trying all i can to save this family. yet everytime we seem so close, Your fallen one comes and ruin it. im so tired. i just want to give up. everytime this happens i feel so afraid her heart will harden. i feel so afraid that she will despise You. i done all that i can. i said all i can. my greatest fear came to pass. God. just carry me now. i cant walk anymore."

C.K blogged at 5:42 AM