Sunday, September 18, 2005 - :
Today I must post about my very unique visit to the doctor
in my neigbourhood.
Okay. let me start from the beginning.
a few days ago on a typical, albeit fun, friday (since my prelims officially ended on that day), when i was on my way home from a movie (the cave),
I suddenly felt a wave of pain at my right abdomen.
so back then, i thought it was just the onset of stomache, so i ignored the pain.
then lo and behold, when i got back home, not only did i NOT feel the urge to release the bombs, the pain persisted.
so i thought nothing of the pain and happily watched my cousin blow himself AND his enemies to pieces on my computer (he was staying over for the night.)
then, the next day, the pain STILL continued, but i didnt really think much of it, since it didnt really seem to be very serious. by then, i already had a slight fever and this really annoying train of mucus trying to take over my nose.
on sun, after a loong day a church and tuition, i suddenly realised that the PAIN WAS GETTING WORSE.
so i hopped onto the web, searching for this thing i suspected was causing all this pain.
APPENDICITIS.
and the horror.
i read all about the symptoms of appendicitis, and realised that it closely matched mine. *gasps*
so, i PRAYED. and i seeked God. and as usual, God told me to relax and stop worrying, and in fact was preparing me for this a few days before. i checked my journal and realised that the verses He showed me a few days before during my quiet time was about trials, and to hold on to God in the midst of this trials.
and so after an 1+ hour of QT, i went to bed.
and WA LAH! its today, on monday.
so i went to the doctor to get a thorough check up. and take my word for it. it was thorough.
when i first stepped into the room, i give a blow by blow account of the pain and yade yade and he listened.
then, after checking my temperature and probing my abdomen for the source of the pain (and it was darn painful
when he got the right spot. imagine taking a bullet in your gut and having some pig pressing that spot. Ouch.),
he dropped the bombshell on me.
"I need to check your rectum. Could you please lie down on your left side?"
(-_-'')
as you can rightly imagine, i was STUNNED for like, a few milliseconds.
WHAT THE HELL?? i was going to have my ass probed?!??! being the bio student that i was, i knew what "I need to check your rectum" really means.
to put it in simple terms, it means...
"I need to stick a finger up your ass."
and so, being the brave fellow that i am, i obeyed him and lay on my side with my shorts down to my knees. then i saw him taking a tube of KY jelly lubricant (mostly used for SEX.) and smmmearing his middle finger with it.
just as he was about to stick his finger in my forbidden orifice a.k.a my virgin asshole (of which will FOREVER be virgin), he told me to relax.
then he slowly and quite torturously stuck his finger in.
it felt funny though. at that point in time, i wondered how homos could take a dick up their ass and feel fine.
thankfully, i knew that flexing my sphincter muscles (my asshole muscles) would just make the experience painful, so i had to relax and pretend i was used to getting my ass probed.
then he poked around inside of me. by then, i was feeling oh so -_-.
in fact, im seriously thankful he didnt go further inside, cus any further probing deeper in my ass would give me a RAGING hard on (an erection), since the male g-spot was the prostate gland inside my ass.
and me at full mast would be HIGHLY embarrasing for both the prober and the probed.
then, after the brief probing session, he was done and proceeded to perform a urine test.
after all the hoo hah and what not, he finally concluded (to my very happy self)
"I doubt it is appendicitis."
YAY. but then again, he said that if the pain persisted after 2 days and the fever is still around, i have to see him again. by then, i hope he doesnt feel the need to probe my ass again and this time finger my prostate. yeow.


C.K blogged at 7:20 PM