Sunday, May 27, 2007 - : I wish for a lot of things.

I wish I can fly.

I wish I can sing on the streets and not give a damn about what others might say.

I wish I can go up to someone I hate and screw him inside out.

I wish I can live a life of dreams.

I wish I can live in a world with no rules.

I wish I can do what I want, when I want.

I wish there was no such thing as wrong.

I wish there is no Heaven or Hell.

I wish for all the good things in life to touch me just once.

I wish for gifts to fall on my lap.

I wish I wasn’t disappointed as much as I am right now.

I wish I was closer to the people I love.

I wish I even knew and understand what it means to truly love.

I wish I could walk away from things I don’t want a part in.

I wish I can have everything sailing smooth and not need crap to remind me of good times.

I wish someone will read this post and talk to me and hear me rant.

I wish I could just cry my heart out and scream at the top of my lungs.

I wish I could tear myself open with no fear of being betrayed.

I wish I could smile.




But this is the real world you see. One wonders why after one tries so darn hard and falls flat on his face, why that one doesn’t just give up and fade away. One wonders why there is an afterlife; that one needs to worry about after a life so long yet so short. One wonders why one cannot live a life that one truly would like to live with no fear of its consequences or aftermaths. One wonders why there is such a thing as Judgment.

One wonders why the heart is so unfathomable. One wonders why the very thing that gives one the strength in the face of all adversity, could crumble so easily in the presence of disappointment. One wonders why the price of giving up is so high.

It’s so pathetic to be like this. And this person knows it. And this person wishes for all that is so bleak to just dissolve away. But yet here they are. Plain in his sight, unrelenting, tenacious, stubborn, parasitic and vice-like. Was this how Vincent van Gogh felt?

One wonders and wishes.

C.K blogged at 7:49 AM