( -_-)+ME = C.k

pool - swimming with balls!

2007-10-18T21:12:00.000-07:00

ord is in less than a week and i am so totally unfazed by it.

put me in a bunk in Tekong now and the recruits will probably rend me to pieces and stew me body for a meal. that's what happens when you get a posting that allows you to stay out - the value of ord gets diluted quite a bit. but what the heck, at least i don't have to put up with really random crap coming out of a certain individual's orifice and scream bloody blue murder over ridiculous and poorly thought-out instructions.

in any case, my ord farewell speech/essay/story will be up soon. in the mean time, i'll probably rave on about my new hobby.

POOL.

let's just say i've always had an interest in pool, except i never really acted on it. quite a pity if you ask me. so right now, i'm going to have to make up for all those years. i desperately need more practice. in fact, i'm contemplating heading to pool saloons and practicing by myself. but the secondary school examinations are just over, that means lots of juvenile delinquents are going to flood the pool saloons. annoying.

in a bid to get myself to really get serious with the sport of pool, i got meself a pool cue and case, with compliments from fabby giving me his old cue as a break cue. thanks dude :]

here's the cue i got from The Cue Factor at Pool Junction from their boss, Adrian.

it's a lovely Joss cue - traditional design and superb playability. the price is lovely too. 650 bucks. plus a cue case that's a replica of one that is custom made by Jack Justis (his custom made cases go into the thousand bucks each), which cost me 289 bucks. that's a totally of bout 930. almost 1K on this sport. i better make it count. hopefully i can get into the ranks of SMU's pool club. and maybe even play competitive!! but for now, it's a loooot of practice waiting for me.

dota is no longer fun.

2007-09-03T04:09:00.000-07:00

gone were the days when one can play dota and be mildly entertained by battlenet players.

gone were the days when one can exercise a bit of common sense and anticipation to discern where missing enemy players are.

and gone are the days where dota players on the battlenet are older folk, like 16 and above.

today, we have a host of 12-15 year old 'lil kids of yonderland who swarm battlenet in droves and really take the fun out of public dota games. they are all unthinking, mindless drones who take the words of their "pro" friends (read: pro = professional - just a figurative expression) sooo seriously that they follow their tactics wholesale. and these "pro" people got their tactics from where? other "pro" friends la.

honestly, most of the tactics don't even make sense. it's really just mindlessly following what the rest are doing.

"WTH??? a guinsoo on a bounty hunter??? NOOB."

and then they start expounding the uber pro items that bounty hunter should get... some far-fetched item like butterfly etc etc. and then when you actually play with them with your team who knows exactly what they are doing, they get their asses whipped hard. then guess what? they accuse you of maphack (read: a form of hacking that allows you to see the entire map which is cheating).

enemy heroes that go missing for dunno how many minutes and they expect us to stay farrr down the lane away from our defences like some dork who can't anticipate that something is fishy.

decision making for them is really almost non-existent. they all conform to a set of rules.

CANNOT CHIONG PAST THE TOWER NO MATTER WHAT!!!

EVEN IF YOU GOT 3 OF YOUR TEAMMATES PRESENT!!!

and then my team and i sees a guy standing quite serenely by the tower despite the fact that we are able to stun him from quite far away. and then he dies when we all chiong right in and slaugther him, before beating a hasty retreat.

the bugger didn't even know what hit him.

players nowadays don't analyse the game at all. it's just a set of rules, what their perceived to be "pro" friends say and what they see other people do, even thought the situation is never the same.

bah. dota is becoming a sad game to play. nowadays even though my team and i do play a few public games to get some cheap thrill out of killing them so easily, it's getting dry and boring.

i need new games!!!!

***for the unintiated few, the above would be totally alien to you. so the post starts from here. Ha Ha Ha.***

Oh i do enjoy days like these. the entire office was empty 'cus all regulars had to get their asses to the army open house. ill bet down to my last penny that no one stayed beyond 5pm. i mean, the exhibition might interest and wow the public who hasn't been in touch with the SAF for years, but for people like us, its really a "been there, done that" kinda thing. i mean we WORKED on those "hi-tech" stuff.

but of 'cus, mondays somehow get to inject a 'lil bit of shit into the rest of your week.

right now, a certain individual has decided to add a bit of extra stuff to my job scope. ok not a bit. a whole chunk load of stuff actually. in fact, this hunk of junk crap he just blew out of his cannon is enough as a full fledged job. maybe i'm exaggerating but it's close la.

frankly, i don't think i'm even able to settle into this new pile of sai. i'm going to flush this stupid organization out of my system in like, a 'lil over 2 months. the only concern i have is my understudy (who i probably will never see) whose going to take over my job. if he is going to come in as a website idiot like me when i arrived at my current unit, then i say he's better off fending for his life in the Sahara.

ah well. of course you can't expect me to clean up everything before i leave. in fact, i intend to hide a large amount of shit from the website and make it look ok on the outside. but then, once im gone, all the shit will come back in the form of one large bitch and BITE THE ASSHOLE IN THE ASS. =D what a considerate thought. *pat pat*

thank goodness though, that this month is speeding up, 'cus the month of august was one slooow one. really, time seemed to dilate back then. i looked at my handphone's calender and realised that august had 5 weeks! like, omg! thankfully this month is back to normal with 4 weeks. i would expect this month to be completely smoooth sailing and totally laid back, with the exception of the amount of crap generating daily from the website which probably matches the height of Everest.

for the first time EVERRR, i am ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GUARD DUTY!!!!

I HAVE LOST MY MIIINNNDDDD!!!!
*oozes drool from corner of mouth*

heh heh. not really la. it's just that my guard duty is on the 22nd of september, that means, i'm thaaat much closer to my ORD. can you imagine? you wake up to a beautiful sunday, albeit in camp, on a weekend (-_-), and realize - it's just one week more to october... which is one month away from ORD... Ha Ha.

and of course, the feeling of liberation from The Stupid Organization is one that i don't really understand now, but soon. in fact, this friday, one of my colleagues is going to return to the real world of civilization.

soooon... sooon i will livvvee agaaaain......

during the month of august, i was really anguishing over how time is dilating as my ORD is approaching, until i remembered this song.

Let it go,

Let it roll right off your shoulder

Don't you know

The hardest part is over

Let it in,

Let your clarity define you

In the end

We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain

Let it slide,

Let your troubles fall behind you

Let it shine

Until you feel it all around you

And i don't mind

If it's me you need to turn to

We'll get by,

It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain

All of my regret

Will wash away some how

But i can not forget

The way i feel right now

In these small hours

These little wonders

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away but these small hours

These small hours, still remain,

Still remain

These little wonders

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away

But these small hours

These little wonders still remain

-Little Wonders by Rob Thomas

of the entire song, the part that really hit me, and really means a lot to me, is the first stanza. that's not to say the rest of the song is meaningless with regards to NS. in it's totality, i think it really sums up what it feels like, when you are getting to ORD. wanna hear the song? go find it yourself la. or just park yourself in front of the radio. they are playing it pretty often!

don't know and don't really give a damn!

2007-08-30T00:46:00.000-07:00

i have come to a point in my ns, where i really, really, really don't give a damn.

it's really one of those times where you don't care bout what others say and do, and you don't have any qualms just siam-ing every damn thing. it's really a point where you just don't care.

my understudy is not coming anytime soon honestly and that means i probably will NOT have the chance to take any offs (and even then, a certain individual in my office is going to make things exceptionally hard for me).

and so this below chunk of text is dedicated specially to YOU! in fact, i might just send this to YOU.

Dear *** ***,

For all of your qualifications and achievements, you are truly one ASSED boss. Frankly, I sincerely and wholeheartedly believe that I can be a better boss than you. You are so shortsighted and egotistic that you failed to take a leaf out of your upper study's book.

Your concern is with yourself and your own image. Yet it's so terribly ironic that your conduct and demeanour is so blindingly obvious to all those around you. But you, so unfeeling and incapable of discernment, walk around and initiate in small talk and banter with other nsfs as if you are on amiable terms with them; assuming that they are completely and totally sold to your "sweet" image.

You are such a fool.

You are not just a fool, but an infinitely self-absorbed one. From the day you came into the office, your facade held up like a tracing paper in the face of a storm. I saw you for who you truly were. But i am a giver of second chances. I gave you the chance to prove to me that i was wrong about you, that my first impression of you was erroneous. I will never forget that day when you left me alone on Tekong in the midst of another unit's training and accusing me of irresponsibility when the onus was not on ME to get it right.

Your emotional quotient is laughable. You are truly socially challenged and insipid in your thoughts. But then again, maybe I ought to thank you, because I have learnt so much from you - that you are everything a boss should NOT be. You disgust me with your attitudes. You are, in all honestly, an ankle deep poseur.

The rank that you wear now on your shoulders, was and still is being built upon the back of nsfs.

The day will come when you trip over your own ego and when that day comes, I don't think you will ever realize it, because your nose is always up there in the skies. I wish every success to your upper study, because he is deserving of it. I am not comparing him to you because he was an exceptional boss, but because he is what a boss SHOULD BE.

now i had to let that out. a lil more than 2 more months. I have waited over a year and half for the day when i will walk out of this disappointing organization. 2 more months is nothing. deny me all you want. it is regardless, since i will leave. you however, can rot in that hole. good riddance.

yayness!

2007-08-20T21:13:00.000-07:00

I am now approaching the point in my NS life where i heck care anything. it's the ORD mood.

ooohh yess yes yessssss..... i've waited a grand total of 1 year 8 months and XX no. of days for this moment. of which i'm still not satisfied as to how quickly time is passing till i get to meet my dearest pink IC. yessss... pink never looked so darn HOT in my hands.

and to think that the past 1 year and 8 months just zipped past me like -that-. but that's nostalgia for another post for another day. right now, i'm crossing my fingers and toes and hoping i don't get dumped with a large lump of crap work close to my ORD date of Nov 4. as such, i have been taking measures to assure the rest that i have evolved into this unreliable hunk of junk in a last ditch effort to siam all semblance of work. if these measures fail, there's always leave and off to clear! but i honestly doubt the latter will be coming in large or even moderate quantities for reasons i shall not state to preserve my life.

to mark my moving on from army, i shall now talk about life AFTER NS. i'm enrolling with SMU Accountancy! swwweeettt man. but i'm bothered bout sleeping in class, cus i have the habit of dozing off when i don't understand a particular lesson. : /

a terrible habit i know, but i can't seem to find my "Stay Awake" switch. for me, if my attention is not aroused, i just disappear. must shake off this habit, or else my Cum Laude degree is not happening.

another thingy thats bothering me is the SMU gym. currently i'm with Tamp Safra gym, and i kinda hate the idea of moving over to SMU gym (which is free while at Safra i got to pay) and losing all my friends over at Safra. Aiyah but still far lah. i'll be gymming at Safra all the way till i matriculate at SMU in August next year anyways.

before that, i need to find a job!! yes yes i intend to change my ancient computer (its still running on an archaic AGP system -_- ) but to do that, i need at least $1500. and so, my very dream-like aims include a job that pays close to a thousand (or more) and the hours are like standard working hours, from 8-6 or soooomething like that. ambitious no? or maybe ill just give tuition. =D sigh. but for now i need to ORD first. i'm still counting down...

2007-06-25T06:15:00.000-07:00

Z.O.M.G.

it has been -ever- since I last updated. Well i'm sorry but i'm getting exceedingly laaaaazy. I think all my previous readers (if i had anyone to start with) who were mildly fascinated with my inane life probably died a natural death waiting for my next update.

Anyhow, life has been ~~crappy~~ ok so far. this month has been filled with guard duty, going outfield for a certain individual whom i don't really like AND ferrying back and forth from the edge of Tampines and Pasir Ris to the La La Land of Woodlands.

I mean honestly, anywhere out of the east is alien to me. I cannot for the life of me imagine how people can SURVIVE living in a place that has HDBs, fields, fields, construction sites, construction sites and, well, construction sites. and i also cannot fathom why MINDEF imposes a no-more-than-50km/h-road-speed-rule on all MINDEF vehicles. Imagine getting to Jurong from Tampines on one of these shits. i've never seen a vehicle being overtaken so many times.

but i digress. it's just about 4 more months till i ORD and start living again. some of me friends say its the "Beginning of the End". i on the otherhand, say it's "The End of the Beginning" - the beginning of my NS life. yes yes i knooow. NSFs usually can't talk about any much other stuff other than NS, simply because the meaning of our lives have pretty much been compressed to the size of a unassuming pea.

but less insignificant matters aside...

i'm working on a new blogskin that i created from scratch, but being the HTML and cyber idiot that i unashamedly am, it's still a little bit more before i can get it running. work has been an a-hole as of late, with me being tasked to do stuff which is none of my business. it's astounding how some people can be so shameless and blatantly task others to do the job that THEIR OWN SURBODINATES are suppose to do. as such, i'm being torn away from my maiden blogskin.

in anycase, it should be up and running before the end of the year. wow whee! isn't that exciting! XD

2007-05-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

I wish for a lot of things.

I wish I can fly.

I wish I can sing on the streets and not give a damn about what others might say.

I wish I can go up to someone I hate and screw him inside out.

I wish I can live a life of dreams.

I wish I can live in a world with no rules.

I wish I can do what I want, when I want.

I wish there was no such thing as wrong.

I wish there is no Heaven or Hell.

I wish for all the good things in life to touch me just once.

I wish for gifts to fall on my lap.

I wish I wasn’t disappointed as much as I am right now.

I wish I was closer to the people I love.

I wish I even knew and understand what it means to truly love.

I wish I could walk away from things I don’t want a part in.

I wish I can have everything sailing smooth and not need crap to remind me of good times.

I wish someone will read this post and talk to me and hear me rant.

I wish I could just cry my heart out and scream at the top of my lungs.

I wish I could tear myself open with no fear of being betrayed.

I wish I could smile.

But this is the real world you see. One wonders why after one tries so darn hard and falls flat on his face, why that one doesn’t just give up and fade away. One wonders why there is an afterlife; that one needs to worry about after a life so long yet so short. One wonders why one cannot live a life that one truly would like to live with no fear of its consequences or aftermaths. One wonders why there is such a thing as Judgment.

One wonders why the heart is so unfathomable. One wonders why the very thing that gives one the strength in the face of all adversity, could crumble so easily in the presence of disappointment. One wonders why the price of giving up is so high.

It’s so pathetic to be like this. And this person knows it. And this person wishes for all that is so bleak to just dissolve away. But yet here they are. Plain in his sight, unrelenting, tenacious, stubborn, parasitic and vice-like. Was this how Vincent van Gogh felt?

One wonders and wishes.

beautiful is forever.

2007-01-11T03:41:00.000-08:00

Apple has done it again.

Like.

What.

The.

Hell.

How on earth, can anything so beautiful be created?

The sheer ingenuity of it all.

iPod + Broadband internet browsing + Camera + Phone.

Makes you wonder if the designers and people who conceived of this are aliens.

I can imagine the look on the faces of the CEOs of major phone compeititors when they saw the iPhone revealed.

they're either stunned silly by the brillance and omnipotence of Apple,

or shocked to uber retardation.

it's like, Motorola? Move over, dudes... Nokia? pfffft... Samsung? *painful silence*

and to think i used to be the archetypal nokia fan. raving on and on about the user-friendliness of it all blaa bllllaaaa.

in fact, the highest point was when nokia rolled out the 7610, which is in my opinion still a beauty. but subsequently after that, nokia seemed to ditch its aim for the novel, for the practical.

and now nokia is paaiiiinnnfulllyy boooorrrinnngggg. its just about exciting as watching Bob the Builder. and the marketing and advertising strategies are awfully stale. the same old crazy camera angles and people jumping out of phones and some other weird and incongruent elements.

the last time i ever felt this way over a phone was for 7610. but the iPhone is like, visual orgasm. it's like, suddenly u go into contractions of pleasure just lying eyes on it. i can imagine myself just dropping dead and moving on to gadgetry heaven if i own it.

its almost the Holy Grail of all the gadgets in the world. and it's really gadgets like these that are world changing you know. like the car and the aeroplane. all it takes is that moment of ingenuity.

maybe apple will come up with some universal gadget that allows you to control everything in the house. like, turn on the tap to the bathtub when you're on your way home. or record a show that you are not going to make it in time when there's no one else at home to do it.

but that's the distant future. for now, lemme tease and tantalise you (and myself) with more of the iPhone.

Are you drowning in your drool yet?

2007.

2007-01-02T05:36:00.000-08:00

Thats it.

2006's gone, just like that.

Nothing so much as a snap of a finger or a tap with your right foot. Or that momentary whiff of fragrance from a flower freshly bloomed. Or the ephemeral memory of yet another controversial politician.

Its so ironic AND sad, that one can desire so much for one year to past, yet hold on so fervently to that one year of his life, lest it be a fleeting moment. And it is in that very fleeting moment of a year, one discovers and comes face to face with his mortality.

Yes people - one year isn't THAT long. One year is very short indeed.

After these 19 years of living and walking around this little planet that's blasting itself to bits, you really can't help but concur that life is indeed like a flower in the fields. Blooming today, only to wither the next.

It's funny to think that as teenagers, we imagine that we can rule the world, that we can live forever and the whole planet is our oyster and it had better darn well fit our expectations. And it's this planet that confronts us with our mortality and the fact that we DON'T live forever and in fact, every year older means every year closer to dying. And its just like that, that my youth just skipped by me. Like, what the hell. You mean it's gone??!? Those years of emotional outbursts and experimentation and unadulterated adventure coupled with a little bit of puppy love??? But no, that's not my adolescence. Mine was more subdued, and steeped a lil' more in things that most would shun. But that's the past.

I'm 20 this year. Well not NOW as of yet, but i consider myself 20. There goes my teenager status. But I'm not yet an adult. It's like, not here, yet not there. You're expected to act like an adult, yet you're not in a position to make any desicions that adults are able to. What a saaad predicament.

But i guess there's no point emo-ing about stuff like this. It's time to get my life back in order and meet up with that someone whom I have been placing on the shelf for the longest time. What a way to start the new year.

zomgosh.

2006-12-25T05:43:00.000-08:00

I have been away for an ETERNITY!!!

seriously, how much stuff can a guy like me blog right. and to think i'm suppose to blog something that can capture your attention and send you into some endless spiral of envy for my very ~~complicated~~ eventful life.

bah.

the only thing to capture your eyes are PICTURES ON MY BLOG. i mean, who's interested with words upon words upon words.

but the only camera i have is a pathetic/miserable/insignificant/*insert adjective* 1.3 megapixel camera with a terrible night mode and sloth like shutter speed.

so the next thingymajing on my neverending wishlist is a digicam. which i can use when i go on my imaginary holidays in my head, where snow is blue and grass is red and where monkeys are blind and pigs fly.

but you seeeee, if i were to overload this blog with pictures of my daily life, that would mean i got to go around with my camera, and happily click away. but that is so.... himbotic. yes yes. himbo is the male version of bimbo. as far as i'm concerned that is. and im so lazy to have to whip out a cam to do all that. and blogger isn't making it easier with their rather lousy and loooong loading times for uploading pictures.

but getting a digicam is STILL on my wishlist. it's more like a family property, if you get my drift. i can't believe my mom is still resorting to film cameras. LOL. even i can see the -__- on her face when she had to fish it out from some moldy corner in the cupboard.

but sad things aside....

I will be reporting to my new unit tomorrow as an T******G M********T SPEC.

can't tell you full name of my vocation lah. otherwise MINDEF knock on my door and cuff me off to detention barracks.

and the camp is sooo near my house!!! that means MORE time for working out and running!!!! arrrrhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D :D

anyways im currently at 66kg. hope to hit 70 in 6 months time. but its pretty scary, the thought of a new job environment and all that. i'm trying as much as possible to get CMPB lifestyle out of my system cause' its really the next closest thing to ORD. who knows? my new camp might turn out to be ~~slacker~~ more relaxed. by the way, i'm going HQ 9 DIV.

and i am going to ORD on 04 Nov 2007!!!!!! MUAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA. 10 months more after this year is over. i can already hear civilian-nization calling to me.

*floats away to yonder land*.

H.I.A.T.U.S. come spell it after me.

2006-11-13T04:05:00.000-08:00

zOmG.

I just realised I haven't been updating this blog in ages long past.

Actually I knew lah. I'm just lazy and too incredibly busy with online gaming and online gaming to sit down and wax lyrical over my rather nondescript life at this point of time. Aren't I such a loyal blogger? heh heh.

But to all my phantom readers out there, REJOICE for I have decided to update this blog. Actually its mainly because this blogskin is too nice to be stagnant. Wouldn't do it much justice eh?

Just a quick update on my life in army so far, I'm in CMPB waiting out for my posting. And I'm in the process of -trying- to get myself downgraded but medical officers of the SAF are living up to their reputation. This, I will not elaborate for the sake of my future. ;]

Anyhow, onto less depressing stuff, I just bought a shirt of this colour on saturday. I know I know. It looks so G.A.Y. But hey, we only live once dudes. :D Rather than sticking to boring old blue and black. And I think I am getting totally addicted to online shopping. I mean, you literally SIT on your ASS, and shop! Like WTH? It's the Heaven of shopping!

The Holy Grail of Retail Therapy!

The Karma Sutra of Orgasmic Shopping!

In fact I think I'm just becoming like one big sloth. Ho ho ho. Lazy me doesn't really like the idea of going allll the way to Orchard Road, walk around till my rather flat foot hurts and go home with a big fat nooothinggg.... What an incredible waste of time. Instead, when you're online, you can look around, and click click click click CLICK AND IT'S RIGHT AT YOUR DOORSTEP!!!! Online shopping rules people. And I am going to get myself a debit card so it makes my life that much easier. :D

You ought to try it sometime people... But nothing beats sitting down at The Coffee Conossieur (however you spell that) with a bunch of old friends and talking cock. Then going to shop. Then burning away a month's salary just like that. (T_T). I need to give tuition.

($_$)

Retail Therapy Rules.

2006-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

I have switched my allegiance preference from AX to Diesel.

Yea man. Diesel is the s**t.

I just identified my style today, and it can all be found in Diesel. Well, almost all.

My style is...

Rock Chic.

Thats it people. That typical rocker graphic and simple, clean pants.

Sometimes, less is more.

But more, is always, well, more.

Take that.

I hate mutton.

2006-09-17T04:38:00.000-07:00

a totally off tangent title. but who cares.
as i have promised, here are the rest of the pictures while i was in Tamworth.

yong xi and his salacious DVD

games with our instructors

our instructors

end of the day (or beginning???)

ball in the park

common room and a deer caught in headlights

so that instructors know just who is bullshitting

the kind of reaction you give when you realise you are not flying tomorrow

when dreams go too far

me and the plane i have come to love and hate

AGC 09/06

Above ALL.

OK! that about wraps up all that i have on Tamworth and my short stint there.

too bad i don't have any photos of me IN the plane while im flying it. in any case, now that i'm back to being an NSF, i'm currently in CMPB with the manpower department. I.E., i'm with CPC (read: department that handles NSF postings) until december 26th. not sure if that is going to change.

but i hope not of course.

Mua Ha Ha Ha.

i guess i have tasted both the hell (Viper Coy in BMT and Foxtrot Coy in SISPEC) and the heaven (Tamworth and CMPB) of NS. but more heaven than hell, i reckon. :pPppPppPPPppp

and just yesterday,

My Computer Died.

it just wouldn't start up. >_<

so i brought it down to sim lim today to get it checked and repaired. it would appear that the power supply of 420V couldn't support the whole system after i bought a network card for my new and improved 10mpbs internet. can you smell the fart of hao lian...

and i bought MORE than a power supply.

check it out.

like, how much cooler can a desktop chassis get? and i mean literally and figuratively. this beauty of a baby has THREE fans. and one mega one in front (see the blue light?) specially for the hard disks. and this chassis is also perfectly sized for a LIQUID COOLANT SYSTEM.

not that i'm going to use that of course. not -yet-, rather.

and to top it all off, i just suddenly realised that my monitor, my speaks, my router, my mouse pad and my mouse are all BLACK. how freaking cool is that?!??! and i was meant to get that chassis.

totally.

sweet.

photos galore.

2006-09-12T23:05:00.000-07:00

I'm so going to blow your bandwidth.

As i have promised, i'll be uploading the pictures from my stint down under. and so there they are...

At the departure gate

transfering from terminal 1 to terminal 3

breakfast at terminal 3. 10+ bucks. -.-

Jetlag! by 2 hours.

tiny transfer plane to Tamworth

our sports entertainment

our beds...

personal toilet + bath tub!!!

cold cold morning...

breakfast

the same menu everyday....

clear skies...perfect for a tan and a flight

our 1st trip to Tamworth Town

notice the cracked lip on Wayne? ;)

on the road to town

typical countryside

and more countryside...

good enough to be the background of an inspirational poster!

crossroads

Tamworth! Country music capital of Australia...

some old tower in town

shopping spree...mostly food though

Chion trying desperately to be cute...And Dennis expressing his desire to grab something...

subtlety was never their strength.

bench warmers

part 2

there's no escaping Chion. we see you.

assuaging our egos

i can almost see their fantasies coming to live. its an FHM cd.

more photos coming next time....

Lamb-mination.

2006-09-10T21:32:00.000-07:00

A new blogskin!

i decided to take a break from fancy vector graphics and settle for something a little more minimalistic.

i kinda thought the skin was pretty witty, until i sensed the laces of morbidity under that cute lamb.

but that aside, i have returned to blog on my rather dead blog. starting off with my return from tamworth, australia.

well i must say it was an eventful trip. imagine waking up and walking out of your accomodations to have an icy cold wind greet you with an ethereal

"Feeeeel my iccccceeeee you chink."

on some mornings, it was so cold your hands would go quite literally white. the breakfast was the same. again, it was the same - literally. think bacon eggs pancakes, followed by bacon eggs pancakes, followed by bacon eggs pancakes, every morning.

initially it was quite a kick. but after the first week you rather take them and shove them up your ***.

then there's the flying which is really the most traumatic experience of the whole stint. but i won't divulge too much lest mindef decided to charge me under the dunno wat act under the dunno wat section with dunno wat chapter.

then we go to tamworth town itself on the weekends. and i realised something, which really confirmed what i had suspected alllll along...

I'm xenophobic in foreign countries.

like WTH right?!?!?? for the vocab-challenged folks, xenophobia is the fear of foreigners. HA! go figure.

anyways, i'm always having this suspiscion that white people are always making fun of us asians. and the white people always say they aren't, but deep deep down, they have this ethnocentricity going on in some dubious corner of their brain.

that is, of course, just MY personal opinion... although there are those who aren't
~~racist~~ ethnocentric. they are the ones who don't judge other cultures against their own. and quite sadly, this seems to be rare. but then again, i could be wrong.

the other time i was in new zealand, my mom and i were just walking down the street when this pair of girls just came up to my face and shouted

F**K.

-.- erm. am i missing something here? and not too long after that incident which i totally ignored, a group of youths in a car stuck their heads out and hollered

"GO BACK HOME YOU CHINKY CHONKS!!!!"

so you get my point yea.

but whatever it is, i'm not about to degrade myself to their level. so i say,

LOVE THE WORLD!

as for the pictures in tamworth, ill be uploading them soon enough.

until then, pop by for more updates. actually i'm suppose to be at the swimming pool now. but it's so darn cloudy. bah. let's hope for better weather tomorrow.

r e m i n i s i n g m o m e n t s o f n o s t a l g i a

2006-07-31T07:07:00.000-07:00

Rapture is coming this friday!!!!

:D :D :D :D :D

i have been waiting for a loooong time for this year's concert. for the less informed, Rapture is SAJC's annual dance concert.

truth be told, i almost missed this year's concert. and my, how my world seemed to grow less warm and suddenly so forbiding, almost to the point where i teetered on the edge of insanity only to be matched by a sense of interminable dread that my world was coming to an abrupt and violent end.

ok maybe it wasn't that bad but what the heck.

I miss dance.

yes i miss it with every fiber of my being.

i miss it so much that whenever i see others strutting their stuff on stage or just practicing their steps, i feel like sneaking up behind them and tearing off their skins, only to jump right in it and assume their place and dance like there's no tommorow or day after.

it's really hard, to know that i probably will never dance again.

in part due to the fact that i scarcely have the time, and mostly due to the fact that i made the choice to walk away from secular dance for God.

and until today, it really hurts knowing that ill never come back to the art that i once never had an inkling of passion for.

the amazing irony is that this love for dance was only born when i joined dance in jc. and i never even thought of dance as an art form back then; quite the irony, given my background in drama.

i can still remember that i left dance on acrimonous grounds. in one move on my part, i set the entire dance society against me. and probably left my name in the Hall of Supreme and Unredeemable Infamy. i think i was the first on that list ;p

and from the looks of it, ill never again be welcomed into dance. in fact i never was when i joined it. it all started alright, until a certain individual decided to spread rumours and stab me in the back, but im fine with that.

ever since then, every practice session was as if i was practicing alone. but i never did mind that, because i felt God was my comforter and He was all i needed. and He still is. nevertheless, my greatest regret was the fact that i never did and never will experience that amazing and indomitable bond that SAJC dancers shared.

that sense of friendship that only army camaraderie can rival. wow.

looking back, i really cannot help but wonder what might have happened if i hadn't chose to leave dance and disobeyed God. I wonder how much would have changed if i chose to perform in Rapture 2005. not very much i would think, but that is the question, you see; how much?

but God is good and His grace is sufficient for me. though even today my heart desperately wants to dance, i want to dance a dance that glorifies God, not the world. So im praying that i won't fall back into something that i tried so hard and gave so much to get out of.

im still praying.

silence of the lambs.

2006-07-20T07:19:00.000-07:00

i am feeling incredibly, superbly, amazingly, *insert adjective*, incredulously not-so-guilty of the fact that i have not been updating.

simply for the fact that...

I got so much of nothing to do.

that's right.

I got so much of Nothing to do.

big fat NOTHING.

after 7 weeks or digging minefields, blowing up barrels of kerosene+petrol with some random manure thrown in and shifting endless chains of stores and what not,

im now currently in AIR FORCE SCHOOL.

and did i tell you that AIR FORCE SCHOOL is the HEAVEN of army?

i cannot begin to tell you the amazingly busy schedule that i have. so let me do a quick run-down.

0730-0915 ----> Nothing

0915-1000 ----> tea break a.k.a breakfast

1000-1230 ----> Nothing

1230-1300 ----> Lunch ( of which you can just scan your card then proceed to the mess to order your own food.)

1300-1400 ----> some random sai kang but usually its Nothing

1400-1630 ----> Nothing

1630-1645 -----> clean the pantry for the instructors

1645 onwards --> GO HOME.

uh huh.

do you envy me now? ENVY ME YOU LESS BEINGS.

MUAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA...

but i shouldn't laugh too soon lah. i still got air-grading to pass. and if i don't pass that, im back to unit. (T_T)

so im going to chiong and pia and make sure i don't fail. 50% pass rate isn't too low right? right??

any how, at the end of my air-grading, ill have close to 6000 bucks waiting for me in my account. im being paid to Exist. ho ho ho.

in fact, my pay is now 1500++. and that is not counting in overseas allowance and flying allowance. i cannot begin to imagine how much that it will amount to if and when i go to Basic Wing Course. assuming i pass air-grading.

and if you think my life is slack now, its going to get slack when i go to Australia for my air-grading. don't ask me how slack. just know this.

Its slack.

finally finally finally.

2006-06-30T22:52:00.000-07:00

do you know, what is the most BORING,

the most ROTTING (no such word but since your in MY blog...),

the most ANNOYING and potentially MADNESS inducing thing that can occur to you in the SAF?

you got it right my simian friend!

Guard Duty.

oh ho ho ho... you mundane human beings who never done it before have absolutely nooo idea how devastating these 2 words can be.

i was actually amusing myself with a kitten for a grand total of 2 hours. wow. and playing with the metal detector which quite obviously annoyed the feline so much, she jumped on the table.

but that depressing matter aside.

After a grand total of 6 months plus plus plus PLUS....

I am finally qualified as a pilot trainee.

woahness. haha!

now all that is left is the contract and PHOOOOOF!!!

im so out of ETI and off to airforce school and down under.

but i really do thank God for everything that has happened so far. a part of me really really REALLY don't want to fail the air-grading, which is supposedly the part where most ppl get the axe.

heck. im afraid i won't even pass the training. but all is in God's hands and i trust Him and where He leads.

right now, my heart is not longer in engineering. so im going to find one of my superiors and request that they take me out of the course rather than waste my time training for something which i most probably will NEVER do again.

17th of July. and SAFTI MI will have a new trainee.

Yours Truly.
assuming SAF isn't into its dream mode.

after a looong hiatus.

2006-06-16T22:20:00.000-07:00

oh my. i just realised i haven't been blogging in a month.

blame it on what little weekends i had lah.

so after this long break from blogging, i have returned to save my blog from imminent non-readership. whatever that word means.

just a quick update, im so totally, absolutely, truly, joyously and oh so grateful to be OUT OF SISPEC!!!!

yes, you read it right. i don't have to suffer the life of an infantry soldier anymore. i'm now officially labeled as a slacker. well, all combat engineers are slackers to some extent.

sadly, ill be donning a blue beret. and blue berets are like the prostitutes of all the berets in SAF 'cause signals, logistics artillery, combat engineers and whatever thats not commando, guards or infantry wear the blue beret.

so sad right... i got a prostitute on my head. now that just sounds wrong. but life goes on.

any how, i heard that SISPEC has decided to adopt my ex-officer in command's new BSLC training program, to his most ~~shamelessly~~ rightfully gained honour.

i almost pity the next batch of BSLC trainees. they have a hard life ahead of them. HA. but im out of there so i say to you privates out there,

SUFFER.........FEEL MY PAIN WHEN I WAS WHERE YOU ARE NOW!

but that aside, i found out from my current OC that the combat engineers are going to ~~pao ka liao/sia kang~~ organise next year's NDP. you know what that means? no more saturdays for me. although they say they will pay us back. but we know better than that right?

LIARS. but you didn't hear me say that.

sigh. and now with little more than a week and 4 days, ill be moving on to a new specialization. i'm hoping not field engineers but ill keep this blog updated.

and i got new games! AH! sadly, its all games games and games for my weekend. how boring.

yawn.

retail therapy.

2006-05-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

after a whole 4 days and 3 nights at pulau tekong, i am finally BACK with a vengence.

actually not so la. HA.

retail therapy does wonders to the vegetatively jaded. in this sense i mean literally vegetative. although i know im using the wrong word but frankly, i don't really care at this point of time.

any how, i popped by takashimaya and cineleisure yesterday and got myself a neew pair of shoes (which i so desperately needed) and a new cologne (which i don't really need but my mom and i thought the scent was nice so we got it).

and the cologne i got is Terre D' Hermès from Hermès (pronounced air-mez not her-messs or hermsss).

so yes. go try it out if you're curious about fragrances like me.

just 3 more weeks till im out of BSLC. and im crossing my fingers i won't stay for ASLC. and i tell you, my OC is INTENTIONALLY postponing my pilot interview because he wants everyone to go ASLC. and i WILL NOT let him do that.

ah well. life goes on sadly... its already the month of may.... almost half the year has gone by. its sad to know that you really want NS to be over, yet at the same time, you wish time wouldn't pass you by so fast for the simple fact that there's so much you can and could have done in these two years. but yet you don't really want to do anything at the same time. hai. what a bitter irony.

x_x

2006-04-23T22:24:00.000-07:00

it has been a truly TIRING week.

in fact, the whole week had me out of camp grounds 90% of the time. and half of the time, or more, was spent at lower mandai in the forests.

not fun.

at all.

to give you a better picture, let me give you a rundown for this week.

Day 1
Gypsy 1 - controlled navigation i.e. instructors lead in navigating.

Day 2
Gypsy 2 - uncontrolled navigation i.e. NO instructors leading, so its a group effort which resulted in loooong detours and loooong treks uphill and down with no knowledge of shortcuts whatsoever.

Day 3
Outfield outfield outfield... learning all about how to cross danger areas yade yade.... running here and there in our skeleton battle order and suffering the rain.

Day 4
the day started with SOC, followed by fire movement which we had already learnt in BMT but for some reason, the people at sispec seem to think we didn't do them at all.

Day 5
this time, its Wanderer 1 i.e. uncontrolled navigation again, except that it is a test. this time, we walked through hills, swamps, 1+ km of thorny vegetation etc., notwithstanding the rest of the distance we had to cover to get to our checkpoints. the day ended at 2.15 am for me.

Day 6
with a grand total of 3 hours of sleep, i woke up to another day outfield, this time learning how to breach wire obstacles in the bloody hot sun, and after which we rushed the living daylights out of ourselves to book out. for the better part of the day, my legs were teetering on the edge of cramping.

so as you can see, this week has NOT been fun at all. in fact, it was the longest week in sispec so far... and this week, is ANOTHER week of outfield. except that it is all assessment and im already missing today's one by virtue of the fact that i am ill and possibly the FIRST in the WHOLE of foxtrot company to book in a day later than usual.

what a dubious honour.

at least it's good to know that there is night's off on wednesday and friday, of which i will not be going for. and its a long weekend! but as always, sispec loves to be a sickening wet blanket by placing exercise Grandslam immediately after the weekend.

Charming to the last.

so many things to buy... so little $$$

2006-04-08T22:30:00.000-07:00

should i come up with a wish list? or no?

aren't wish lists meant for things that are a little out-of-reach? hm. for my case, they are affordable lah... just need a little time to get them.

firstly, i waaant...

1. ~~An Abercrombie & Fitch shirt~~ (got that just yesterday!! at $30!!)

2. An iBook

3. A good sweater

4. A new pair of shoes

and that would be all. for now that is. but my very measly pay of $450 isn't going to get me those thingys any time soon. hai. but if i were to become a pilot trainee, its an ENTIRELY different story... ;]

anyhow, for this week, i'll be booking out of camp on a thursday, provided i don't make my sergeant's impression of me any worse than it already is (in my opinion, that is...).

i tell you, if i get guard duty during ANY of my long weekends, i will probably just drop dead. long weeks are a RAREITY in army... right now, i can't wait to be a civilian.

to be able to keep my hair longer... to go where i want, when i want... to do what i want, how i want... bla bla bla. the time will come when i wave my pink i/c in front of recruits with a knowing smirk on my face while they think im making a big hoo haa over 3 letters.

ORD.

i'm spent.

2006-04-07T23:07:00.000-07:00

it has been a rather slack week.

yet for some reason, this was the longest week for me so far...

i just had live firing for the SAW and SAR 21, of which i must say, is very *insert adjective*.

and to add icing to the cake, i have been barred from the next TWO nights out for the most idiotic reasons.

and all this happened in a span of TWO days. -___-

the first declaration that i would stay in camp for the next nights out happen during the live firing. apparently, i shouldn't have bought something from the mobile canteen (basically a van with food stuffies) because they hadn't given permission.

but, the guy i asked before i bought anything said that we could buy. so yes. i wouldn't say that that guy sabotaged me, but what the heck. i got punished for no reason.

the 2nd declaration happened today. and that came about because i left my rifle with my platoon when i left with the staff sergeant to set up the water point at the obstacle grounds. apparently, they disagreed with my actions - leaving my rifle with my platoon when i was under orders to follow the staff sergeant.

and so for that, i got another nights off struck off the list.

Yay.

my final conclusion is this.

The Army can't seem to melt out FAIR punishments.

it's almost as if they are too lazy to process information in their green brains and come up with a more informed and impartial solution. so thus, they say,

"Oh what the heck. let's just whack them all up! Woo hoo!"

so what is my solution? Siam everything. (read: just escape everything they tell you to do so you don't get into trouble.)

man, i'm a genius. -__-

anyhow, it has been a good week for me. how so? my spiritual life is finally back on the right track.

i have no idea how it got back on track, but i do know that whatever God wanted me to learn, i have learnt it. and in this time, i have learnt to love with a greater love, to look upon others with more forgiving eyes and strive for the purity of mind.

so lets march on Christian soldiers. and fight the good fight!

new times calls for new skins.

2006-04-02T04:08:00.000-07:00

woo hoo! a new skin!! in my fave colour!!!

but i would like it better WITHOUT the butterflies.

sigh

2006-04-02T01:42:00.000-08:00

i just realized i haven't been updating in a loooong loooong time. lazy me...

im now in SISPEC as expected... training to be a nondescript sergeant.

actually, life in there is considered to be much slacker than my time in bmt... but then again, the training is definately more challenging...

and it would suck to know that my previously sprained ankle (thanks to the last obstacle when i did my SOC in bmt) is preventing me from joining in all the physical training... as such, i am SERIOUSLY lagging behind in my physical fitness... sigh...

tommorow will be a day at the range firing M*****r, M2**, S** *1, *AW, Cl***o** and the Ba*ga**** Tor***o. hahah. i know i know... but i really can't say what weapons ill be firing off tomorrow... its suppose to be a secret... but honestly, the weapons are really not very worthy of being a secret... especially the M*****r, which is totally the opposite of its specifications and supposed strengths...

any how, im actually quite grateful to viper company for putting me through the kind of crap i experienced in bmt. 'cus right now, im actually having it pretty easy in SISPEC... although my bunkmates from falcon, jagaur and other slack companies would beg to differ.

but nevertheless, that specter of unfairness still remains... i shall not say much lest MINDEF decides to court martial me.

right now, i really really REALLY want to ORD. ie, get out of army soon. all those times, when i was in church hearing my army friends saying "ORD....ORD.." with that maniacal look of glee on their faces, i thought they were making too big of deal about it.

i have been enlightened. -___-

now I want to ORD. and go to university. but that would be a 18 months more. (T_T)

and speaking of university, SMU offered me a seat right after my interview!! haha. i think i did well for it! (not bragging hor...) but frankly, i have no idea if i can even go there... assuming i do pass my pilot selection board and the dreaded air-grading, i have a chance to go to university and get paid at the same time.

but the issue is this - the RSAF seems to open the award to only NUS or NTU. SMU is not in the picture. -__- so right now, im hoping its just old and inaccurate information.

anyhow, i intend to major in psychology and statistics. i have absolutely no idea what i can do with a psychology degree, but i think ill let God decide from here...

and i need a new blogskin!! blogskins.com is dead and down. and im looking for drogue-designs which is also down. sigh. its hard to find good skins.

bla blee bloooo

2006-03-15T04:52:00.000-08:00

And now, with a grand total of 2 days to knowing my posting results, im sitting here in front of my computer trying to enjoy the living daylights out of my very demented being.

but guessing that i have bored you to no end with army jargon and what not, lets move on to civilization and the likes...

I just sent in my university application to SMU and NUS... since NTU is alll the way in the La La Land of Jurong, i decided against going there lest my ass cramps whilst on the train from Tampines.

in doing so, i sort of polarised my choices between the two universities.

for SMU, i decided to submit my application for a Bachelor of Social Science. actually, i intend to double major in psychology and statistics while crashing for an Honours. Ha. how incredibly ambitious of me.

for NUS, i submitted my application for an engineering degree, doing a new course called engineering science. so if i deem my life a tad too whimsical and boring and air-headed, i could go there and quite honestly blow my brains to Mars.

so right now, im still debating on whether to walk the road of Arts or Science. but that is another problem for another day.

its only been 2 months plus into my NS life and im feeling like it has been forever... sucky to know that i have till next year's november before i taste the life of a civillian once more.

so all you lucky boys out there who are still schooling.

ENJOY YOUR CIVILLIAN LIFE.

and going to university is so exciting now. im intending to get myself an iBook rather than the typical laptop. firstly, it looks nicer. secondly, it lasts longer (as said by my friends), and thirdly, its hardy enough for you to bludgeon any rapist silly with it.

and it costs below $2000! :D

so until then, im keeping my eyes peeled for good offers. but then again, it wouldn't really matter if i manage to make it as a pilot, for the simple fact i will be earning ridiculously high income while you lesser mortals gape in awe and disbelief. HAHA! :pPppPppppp

2006-03-12T02:22:00.000-08:00

POP LOH!

yayness! finally. no more sergeants! no more cookhouse food! no more pumping! (and more to come later, i would suspect.)

and so to round off my ultra belated BMT experience, i shall do it with photos. but not now la.

anyways, i went to the IT show at suntec city yesterday and i got myself some stuff i have alllways wanted. and truth be told, i never knew i was a technie freak until i went there.

it was practically orgasmic just being surrounded by the latest in computer hardware! :D

and i bought myself a XFX nVidia GeForce 7800 GS!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! and it cost me a whooping $528. and on top of that, a Razer Copperhead mouse!!! with a free Razer eXactMat worth $59!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! :D :D :D :D :D

the only saaaad thing was that i exceeded my budget of $600 by $58. (T_T)

so now i must live a spartan lifestyle for the next few months. and a few months later, ill get myself a neeeeeeeeew soundcard!! to replace this ancient one im using now.

this is SO totally Sweet.

2006-03-01T02:17:00.000-08:00

Mathematics: A

Physics: B

Chemistry: B

Biology: Absent

General Paper: A2

:D

of course, none of this is by my effort but God's grace and His will alone!

and Daniel got 4 As. HAHA! as if that could surprise me anymore....

generally most of the people i know did quite well la...

i can still remember those times where i go bananas over my maths and how my maths teacher expected me to fail. in fact, since the day i started my jc life, i have NEVER scored above 50/100 for maths.

and now, here i am, with an A in maths....

TAKE THAT, WOMAN.

as for GP, i'm pretty happy! to get A1 in GP really takes a certain standard.. haha... of which im not ashamed to say i don't meet it.

so yes! to God be the glory for this results! :D

freeeeedommmm....into another priiisooon....

2006-02-26T00:49:00.000-08:00

9 more days to the end of BMT.

And possibly a few months into SISPEC or OCS.

Of which either one will be worst than BMT.

(T_T).

What is SISPEC? its a place where they train you to be a sergeant. SISPEC is the abbreviation of..

S u f f e r
I n
S i l e n c e
P l u s
E x t r a
C o n f i n e m e n t

and many say the recruits in BMT are the lowest lifeforms in the army. actually its OFFICER CADETS who take the mantle. that's OCS for you. (Officer Cadet School)

ah well. i will enjoy my block leave of 10 days before i bother myself with any of these things.

tomorrow will be an exciting/dangerous/boring/oh-my-goodness day because its....you guessed it wrong! its LIVE GRENADE EXERCISE.

yes. it's when you actually take a REAL grenade that has every capability to go BOOOOOM and is bad-tempered enough that if it chooses NOT to explode 6 secs after the mechanism is released, you'll really need a C4 plastic explosive to persuade it to blow up.

what's a C4? its a military class plastic explosive that's so powerful, you can feel the shockwave 300-400 metres away. i have first-hand experience of that when i was at the live firing range.

in any case, i would expect the platoon commanders to be extra nice to the whole company. after all, its us CHAO recruits whose got the grenade in our hands. :]

apparently, there was a case of a recruit activating the grenade and hugging his platoon commander who was with him in the foxhole instead of throwing it out. as for the aftermath, i'm sure all those videos of HappyTreeFriends should give you an idea of how the contents of the foxhole looked like.

after which, its my airforce medical review on tues for me eyes. i really do hope i pass the med check-up. and then the interview. so if i should ever go OCS, ill just spend a grand total of TWO WEEKS in the infantry arm and be whisked away to the airforce school and spend the rest of my 2 years laughing my way into the centrifuge and blacking out when it hits 9 G.

and to add icing to the cake, its the A level results this wednesday. and oddly enough, i don't feel too nervous about it. maybe its because i gave all that i could give and did the best i could i imagine. ultimately, it's God's will be done and His will alone.

ah well. results. pfffft. what are thay but a bunch of alphabets and a piece of paper not even worthy for a trip to the latrine...

BMT has passed by pretty quickly so far. but ill say this - BMT is really a place you become a man...

all those times in outfield, when you just get so jaded about insects you play with them when you get bored. those field rations that taste practically the same... the uniform that is perpetually wet with perspiration.. that blasted rifle that gets you into soooo much trouble...

the terrifying bangs that sound so much like an artillery strike, the flashes of light and cries of shock and shouts for cover when we had our first simulated enemy ambush at 4 am in the morning.

and the very first time you squeeze the trigger of the weapon you have come to love and hate. that ephemeral moment that seemed almost like an eternity, when your mind goes into overdrive at the fact that in your hands now is a weapon of murder, armed with a real bullet.

ill never forget that moment, when the supervising officer gave the command to fire at will. what followed was a moment of horrified silence, before the slaughter of adolescence ensued in a flurry of bangs.

in that moment, we drove a stake through boyhood. everyone left that place knowing that from that time on, none of us were boys any longer.

that interminable 12km march to the campsite, the times that we manipulated one another during the situational test, that poker face we showed to one another when we said we didn't care if we get into OCS.

and to add to these memories that has been seared into my mind, is tomorrow's grenade exercise. do i regret that i am now in the army? hardly. perhaps one day, girls will get that chance to experience for themselves what you get to take away while in the army.

despite all that complaining, i can say, without a shadow of a doubt, that all men who has gone through NS hold dear to them those times when they had a glimpse at the face of War.

yet another video

2006-02-17T07:42:00.000-08:00

and here is yet another SYF Dance 2005 video...

this is by TJC. they too won Gold with Honours.

honestly, if u ask me, i think TJC did better than SAJC in terms of performing the choreography. thier lines were more uniform than us, although SAJC's blocking and synchronization beat them hands down.

and also, if u can discern, TJC's steps were faaar more challenging than SAJC's, and the choreographer was the same.

2006-02-01T22:55:00.000-08:00

this was the dance piece that won SAJC Gold (with Honours) at the SYF 2005.

happy viewing...

yawn.

2006-01-31T19:48:00.000-08:00

i have to go CMPB tomorrow at 0800 hrs.

(T_T)

and tomorrow is my book-in day. i want to stay AT HOME and SLACK before i go back to the Island and be locked in there for the next 16 days.

yes you read it right.

16 days.

16 days of unadulterated hell.

why 16 days? shouldn't us poor recruits be able to book out on weekends? oh ho ho ho... its because BMTC School 2 decided to take the weekends of the next 2 weeks and place it together with CNY!

so therefore, we get a holiday block of 6 days! what a deal!

but of course, no such deal actually exists. (T_T)

the first thing that's going to to happen when i get back, is this thing called field camp. its this period of 7 days where you don't get to bathe and your face is perpetually green and black. with face paint that is.

after which, i have SIT test which ALSO involves me spending 3 days and 2 nights out in the field. and when i say field, its not in some nice, grassy plain where i can prance around like a donkey.

ITS A FREAKING JUNGLE.

actually, Pulau Tekong doesn't even qualify as a forest, not to mention a jungle.

heck. Tekong is just a place with.....trees. -__-

you see, there are 4 degrees of vegetation. first, you have the JUNGLE. then the FOREST. then....TREES. then....GRASS.

and there are grasshoppers and crickets EVERYWHERE. i just hope one doesn't happily decide to jump in my mouth when im sleeping and go "CRREEEEEEEECK CRREEEEEECCCCK CREEEEEECCCKKKKKKKK....". :X

i seriously have nooo idea how im going to survive 16 days in camp, of which 10 days are out in the field. x_X

anyways, moving on to less depressing matters, CNY this year, (as with every year) is getting progressively uneventful.... i visited a grand total of 3 houses. not including my own.

and thus the angpow collection was proportional to the number of visitations.

and just to digress a bit,

can you believe there are still people out there who put TWO DOLLARS in an angpow!?!?!??!?

I myself would DIE of embarrassment before i even put the 2 miserable dollars in the red packet, much less GIVE it to somebody.

i tell you, they should make it a law punishable by *insert action* if anyone actually tried to pull off such a stunt.

in fact, i think its almost insulting lah! hai. typical typical singaporeans...

Time is meaningless...

2006-01-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

finally i am back to civilisation once again.

i tell you, NS is one tiring place. and its seriously the most vulgar place you will ever go to.

in one day, the words f**k and ch**bye are said more than one hundred times. and the sergeants take most of the cake.

more often than not, im hoping my company sergeant major (csm) doesn't appear when we are training. because he will find any and EVERY excuse to tekan us (read: punish for the most insipid reasons).

just the day before, he told us to knock it down (do push ups...) when he walk up to us from behind and asked why we didnt greet him. -___-

like HELLO.... which part of the human anatomy has eyes at the back of one's head?

then he will call us f**king ch**byes for not greeting him fast enough or for shouting lousily.

even the sergeants cannot stand his vocabulary.

but less of him and more of my life in army!

time in that place is warped i tell you... time takes on a new perspective in tekong.

how so, you ask? just two weeks there, and i feel as if i have been there for two months now. but yet, i feel that those two weeks has passed so quickly! what an odd irony... its a little hard to understand but you younger guys will understand it soon enough. :]

and the physical training is really no laughing matter... in the army, you train when you're tired, rest when you're not tired and sleep when you're awake, and you're awake when you sleep.

they don't care if you're tired or not. you just train. and train. and train. being in there for 2 weeks have honed my mental endurance to the point where i can take physical training for an entire day and feel so totally unfazed...

and to add icing to the cake, im in one of the most evil companies in BMTC. ah well.

this week, ill be going to the virtual range... :D air-con air-con air-con!!!

Always there, never far, never alone.

2006-01-10T01:41:00.000-08:00

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, Nor will the flame burn you."

(Isaiah 43:2)

the past five days of national service was tiring.

the first 2 days was utter misery for me.

but God became so real. And in doing so he fulfilled what i prophesied to myself one sunday when i was in church.

on the 3rd day, in the midst of a lecture, while i was at my lowest point, God took me and restored me. and somehow, my spirit was lifted up, and all the worries and burdens and tiredness were taken, and i felt renewed, and refreshed.

God you are AWESOME.

although there is some insecurity now about how i will go through with the physical training, i know God is always there, never far, and im never alone.

i could still remember, when i was walking alone towards the group of all the other new recruits, as my parents headed off to the ferry. I was all alone, yet in my heart and soul i knew that Jesus was walking with me. and He still does, every step of the way, giving me strength to do the things i never thought i could do, healing me in the times of desperation, and giving me rest in all circumstances.

I want to be the light in the darkness. I want to be set apart in a place that resigns itself to being lost. i want to be His sword and light. and in doing so, that others may see that Jesus lives in me and i in Him.

and i thank God for every moment that He is with me.

no words can express the love i have for Him.

no words can express the immense gratitude that i have for Him, to hold me when i want to fall in the army.

Jesus is beyond words. and now i know, that only by gazing upon His face, that you know what it is like to be a Child of God.

I never thought, in my life that i would be a Christian. i used to think it was a religion of lies. but now its no longer a religion to me. its not a belief. its not a dream. its not a hypocrisy. its not a fantasy.

its a life with my Friend.

its a life with my Brother.

its a life with my Teacher.

its a life with my Father.

its a life with my Saviour.

its a life with my Lord.

its a life with God.

A Love Like No Other.

2006-01-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

A Love Like No Other

The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.(1 John 4:8-10 NIV)

"How would you define or describe love? Some might describe love as an intense feeling or passion. ("I love my wife.") It could also be used to describe something that gives you pleasure. ("I loved that movie.") Love has so many meanings in the English language. It can be very confusing and hard to define.

The Bible tells us that "God is love." (1 John 4:8) It also tells us in the passage above that love is not that we loved God, but it's that He loved us so much that He sent his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.

Think about that for a minute. Okay, more than a minute.

Can our finite minds comprehend just how much God loves us?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."(John 3:16 NIV)

"This is eternal life, that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom You have sent."(John 17:3 NASB)

I've been in love before… or at least I thought it was love. It wasn't constant. It was conditional. It didn't last. It didn't look too much like the kind of love the Bible describes. I can hardly imagine the kind of love that would make such a sacrifice. Or the kind of love that is eternal. It's more than I can comprehend.

This kind of love is constant. It's unconditional. I know it's hard to understand – because in our "flesh" – the love we usually see or experience is conditional. We're so used to doing something in order to receive love and being rejected if we don't. It's no wonder this kind of love the Bible describes is so hard for us to believe, much less understand.

I want to know more about this love. Don't you?
just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.

In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.(Ephesians 1:4-6 NASB)

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;your works are wonderful, I know that full well.(Psalm 139:13-14 NIV)

The Bible tells us He loved us before we were even born. He created us and He loves His creation – regardless of the mistakes we make.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:8 NASB)

He loved us even as sinners. He didn't die for us because we were good, perfect or even saved for that matter. We were still sinners and yet He chose to die for us. Nothing we did caused Him to do that. It wasn't about being good or doing good deeds. This kind of love defies explanation. He simply did it because He loved us.

He loves you now – just as much as He ever did.

Nothing you have ever done or will ever do – can change His love for you.

God loves you simply because He has chosen to do so.

He loves you when you don't feel lovely. He loves you when you feel unlovable.

He loves you when no one else loves you. Others may abandon you, divorce you, and ignore you, but God will love you. Always. No matter what.

It is a love like no other.

-Michelle Sanders from www.studylight.org

are you looking for a love that will never change?

are you looking for a heart that will never die?

are you looking for someone who will always be there with you?

are you looking for someone who will carry you when you can't go on anymore in life?

are you looking for a hope?

Then look for Him, the only one God sent, that can grant you the love you always wanted, the only one who guarantees His love will never fail, because you are His child.

Look to Jesus.

The End and The Beginning.

2005-12-31T07:14:00.000-08:00

WOOOOOOSH!!!!

And that it was like for me, this whole year. Just like that occasional blast of wind from nowhere, that ephemeral flame flickering upon the wick of a candlestick.

And now here i am, sitting here at my computer, with less than an hour before this year ends, thus closing a small, yet imeasurably significant chapter of my life.

I can still remember 2 years ago, where i sat right before this very computer, chatting with my secondary school classmates with bittersweet memories of my 4 years in Saint Andrew's Secondary School... And i remember closing that chapter of my life with much angst, nostalgia for a life barely gone and a great deal of hope for the life to come.

Yet somehow or another, for some reason that only God knows, the following chapter was but a shade lighter than my 4 years in secondary school.

Junior college will most probably be the fastest educational stint i will ever experience. Right now, if you ask me to recall good memories of JC, i can only name a handful. I will never, EVER forget my time when i was participating in the Pre-University Seminar. It was truly a gift that only God could give.

The 2 years in JC were truly years of wrestling with God. I struggled to give up secular music, and above all, secular dance. It was truly one of the hardest and most painful decision i ever had to make, but its a sacrifice i willingly give to Him.

In these 2 years, my faith was stretched to its limit. From one who would doubt that God could cure a simple flu, to one who believes that God can make the lame walk again. From one who believed that only a handful of people could be saved, to one who believes that everyone and ANYONE can be saved.

I was challenged by God over and over again, disciplined in more occasions than one, sanctified by faith in more areas than one, and tested to my limits. And truth be told, im still be tested and moulded by God. Looking back in this year, i cannot help but say that God has been good to me. Very good. Too good for a person like me, one who broke His heart over and over again.

In this year alone, i was given the privellege to witness the beginning of the outpouring of His Spirit upon His people, namely during Camp Accelerate. I was given the blessings of God to reach out to my parents, and i was given the gift that every Christian youths would want - the salvation of their parents.

And now God has fulfilled His promise to me through His Word, that all of my household would be saved. And in saving my parents, God proved to me that there is NOBODY that cannot be saved. Not even a staunch atheist, the hardest of hearts or the most apathetic of souls.

While i sit here reflecting on the year that is passing and ending in mere moments, i can't help but wonder what lies ahead. In 5 days time, i will be opening another chapter of my life, one that will either make or break my walk with God. But i know that He is always and ever faithful. And for that reason i will never let go, even if my life comes crumbling down around me.

song. songs. and more songs.

2005-12-21T01:16:00.000-08:00

Josh Groban : You Raise Me Up @ FreeFreeVideos

right now im pretty confused whether josh groban is a gospel singer or not. but no matter. this particular song is a gospel song by my observation! and its one of the most beautiful....

dancing king/queen

2005-12-19T07:19:00.000-08:00

you know, i have had the intention to blog about this, but i didn't find the conviction and that murderously burning passion.

And now i have.

you see, its about that stupid Channel 8 show called Rainbow Connection. its suppose to be a drama about dancers.

but the irony is, it has NOTHING to do with dancing! alright it has. but seriously, this drama itself has reduced male dancers to sissified metros qualified for the kingdom of sissy-dom.

i mean, their wadrobe is HORRIBLE. who. on earth. wears a PURPLE MUSCLE TEE??? which self-respecting straight guy would do that!!! bright colours are fine by me, but they can only be worn OCCASIONALLY. but it seems that all the guys wear neon colours in every episode.

and the dancing is....*bluuueaaahhh*

the choreography is booring. not even the slightest bit challenging. and the 'dancers' are so LOUSY!!! i know they are amatuer but how amatuer can you get??

being a dancer before, and an amatuer one at that (dancing in my school cca), i can say for sure the producer NEVER bothered to send the actors for some lessons! possibly the worst dance routine was the 'hip hop' one at the fountain with julian hee.

for the love of all things holy, as much as he has a really good body, he CANNOT dance to save his life. throughout the entire routine, he looked like he was flailing some arms and poking the air with his legs. watching a fish out of water would be much more entertaining (and bearable).

and the tap sequence. (T_T).

it was horrid. the guy, whose suppose to be the head of the dance school, couldn't even execute a double pirouette (read: spinning on one foot). for your information, tap dancers can perform up to 8 pirouettes at a go. :)

the saddest thing about the whole show however, was that the producers obviously paid no respect to dancers at all. the show didn't show the pain, the sweat, the blood and the tears behind dance. and no, not all of that come from soppy family drama, or a cheesy love triangle. most of the toils of dance come from dancing itself!!! the practices, the rehearsals, the shoutings, the fatigue, the jitters, the fear and the lecturing.

many out there who never took up dance think that dancers are bimbos who think they're hot when they're not and sissified gays who act like gu-niangs. and that is not true at all. female dancers walk and act with confidence because that's what required on stage! and not all guys act gu-niang. only some.

all in all, dancing is not something thats relaxing. dance needs discipline. dance needs endurance. only by picking up dancing you begin to understand the pains of a dancer. but the rewards are just as great! its difficult to describe, the feeling you get when you stand on stage before an audience, barely able to see their faces, hearing their cheers, and beginning the dance.

then there it is... all those months of practice, all those blood, sweat and tears, all those for that moment on stage. then suddenly, everything you ever learnt, everything you ever remembered about the dance, right down to the most minute of details, are all expressed as the music courses through your veins.

some call it an adrenaline rush, but i call it the dancer's high...

thinking waiting seeing thinking waiting seeing thinking waiting...

2005-12-18T04:53:00.000-08:00

i apologize to all my loyal readers for the lack of updates.

HA.

as if i got loyal readers liddat. but i must assuage my ego, so indulge me...

my sundays are becoming sooo routine. seriously.

first, i go to church, then i go with my parents for lunch, then we resist futilely before we shop guiltlessly, then we go home in a cab because we can't stand all the impolite, rude, kiasu (read: scared to lose), kiasee (read: scared to die), inconsiderate and oafish people in the MRT train.

of course that is not to say all people who take trains are socially challenged individuals bordering on the edge of moronic behaviour.

i totally absolutely CANNOT stand it when those couples happily hug and whisper sweet nothings into each other's ears, while for some bizzare reason are entirely oblivious to the fact that they are blocking the entrance into the train! how they manage that? they lean against the glass panel next to the seats.

Irritating.

anyhow, whilst i was moving ever so slowly down the escalator, the ridiculous amount of free time i have now got me thinking.

you know, whenever a singaporean youth has free time, the first thing he would do is to scan through his "to-do" list in his brain. and in a singapore youth's brain, the only things in the "to-do" list of ~~most~~ singaporean youths is,

I got to study!!!!

2. I got to play game!!!!

3. I got to..... just stooone!!!!

and that is mostly it. the other insipid things of life obviously creeps into the list every now and then... but nevertheless, the very first thing is to STUDY.

and now that i just got over my A levels, i have no studying to speak of, or rather, think of. so now, whenever i have free time, i have this nagging sense that something is not done.

something is not complete.

and that something is my studies.

yet the irony is that i got nothing more to study until NS is over. ah... that is what 12 years of non-stop studying does to your brain. or the singaporean brain at least.

so yes. until now im trying to get that instinct out of my system, although i must admit the feeling that i got nothing to study is really quite foreign.

AND NOW...

National Service is coming in two weeks and four days. then i will be whisked away from civilization and locked away with the ocean as my bars and an island as my cell with shrubs and trees as my *insert object*.

yes yes. all this talk about NS is making you bored.

anyways, after i got my new internet tracker on my blog, i realised i have american readers! HA.

of course not.. i bet they are just passing by... its cool to have a non-existent fan base! :D

nostalgia.

2005-12-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

A past best forgotten.

A memory immortal.

A heart desisted.

A life shattered.

A moment embossed, in halls of time.

A feeling lost.

A passion torn.

A feeling so far removed; brokeness found.

A moment revealed.

A tear ephemeral.

A love rekindled.

A soul saved.

a few moments ago, i told Hsien Xian the full story. and the poem above is dedicated to God. who carried me out of a cave i never knew i was in.

to Hsien Xian, as for the song you composed, i couldn't bear listening to the whole piece; not because it was terrible to my ears, but it dug up feelings and emotions i buried too long ago. and i rather leave it buried where it belongs. do me a favour. include the poem in your entry about the full version of the story ya? thanks. :]

bla blee blooooo

2005-12-13T06:05:00.000-08:00

truth be told, i was right in the middle of blogging when i decided to use the spell check button. then, my internet explorer decided to block the pop-up window to annoy me.

so, i clicked on the bar that allows the pop-up to appear. in a few moments time, i realised that the page needed to reload to allow the pop-up. so, in my haste, i clicked the 'back' button to STOP the reloading.

only to find that i landed myself OUT of the page where i was typing my entry.

and it was then i knew all that typing was for nothing. because blogspot doesn't bother to REMEMBER what you typed should you leave the page.

i hate you blogspot.

anyhow, lets move on to less mundane matters and into the mental and the mentalist.

in all of my blog surfing, i have come to a stunning (or perhaps not so stunning) conclusion.

We are what we blog about!

"Duh."

some of you say. but really. no matter how much you smoke, how much you fiction, how much you bull manure, how much you crap, how much you whine or scream or rant or rave, you really are what you blog about.

you can create an entry that is ENTIRELY fictitious, but it is still impossible to escape who you are in what you write, because part of you goes into that work of ~~bullshitting~~ literature.

in fact, the author's life is practically laid bare to the reader.

just a few moments ago, i was moving from blog to blog belonging to friends from my church, and i realised something in common.

all of them talked about God, Jesus, and their spiritual life.

for some (or most of you), you would roll your eyes to the point they get jammed in their sockets, and then proceed to mutter things like "so fake...." and "so HYPOCRITICAL" in your head.

well, based on my observation, its actually very true.... that they love God and are living for God.

seriously. and when you go to the blogs of other people who are living for themselves, they blog about practically everything under the sun. literally everything.

from frying lizards with sparklers, screeching children in trains, the size of the moon; all these, and even how to measure penises.

and then its here that we begin to realise that something is not quite right, and something doesn't really add up.

Why do these people who believe in God and Jesus talk ONLY about God and Jesus day in day out, while others talk about mundane stuff with vulgarities peppered generously in every entry?

Why do these people not wallow in self-pity and go "i really feel like dying now", but instead say "God, give me the strength to get through this"?

Why do these people give thanks to God even in bad times and forgive those who offended them in that day?

pretty good questions, wouldn't you say?

so my final conclusion is this.

Whatever you blog about, however you blog it, whether it is fact or fiction, raving or ranting, blasting or flaming, a part of you goes into that entry.

you can lie, you can fake, you can smoke, you can exaggerate, but you cannot deny the person that is in that entry, and that person is who you are, and what you do.

to put it simply, the entire entry can be a lie, an epitome of hypocrisy, a travesty of all that is common sensical, but the fragment of the author that comes along with that entry, cannot be denied, and cannot be ignored.

You are what you blog.

And there's no way in the WORLD you can escape from who you are, and what others will see in you.

For your whole life is laid bare before those who read it.

its coming.

2005-12-10T06:30:00.000-08:00

and now, daniel and rajiv are happily slogging their bottoms off in Pulau Tekong, fulfilling their ~~nightmare~~ destiny in....

National Service.

yes. every guy's ~~horror~~ future in singapore.

watching all those guys lining up and hopping on the bus that brings them to the ferry really made me wonder,

What is my enlistment going to be like?

will gerald tan, jachin and company go,

"Bye CK!!! God is always with you!!"

"OK! LET'S GO CHANGI VILLAGE FOR BREAKFAST."

and all these within earshot range. hm... i wonder, what my bunkmates are going to be like, how my company is going to be like, how im going to get over my nauseous bouts when my nerves kick in just before the physical tests.

how im going to make sure my rifle never ever EVER get kop-ped (read: taken away) by my sergeants.

how im going to shit out there in the jungle during field camp.

how im going to pass time while marching 24 kilometres.

now that is an awful lot of things to be thinking about. it really sucks, to know that its something you have been looking forward to, and yet its also something that you have been dreading.

it sucks to know that you have trained physically for it, and yet still be so uncertain whether you can survive the training.

and it really sucks to know that when you get in, you wish you can get out fast.

that's National Service for you. ah well. i have done all that can be done... now its just in His hands isn't it?

and to think that while i was still in JC, i was actually dying to go NS. sigh. the ironies of our lives. right now, my days consists mainly of swimming, badminton, running and weights. full of physical activity to get my body and brain used to it... i really really really pray i don't fall ill...

but admist all this commotion in my brain, it seems so strangely dim - this whole thing about going to NS. somehow, i seem almost at peace with it. God's peace? hopefully, considering the fact that i will be needing it. and to add icing to the cake, i still got my A level results to collect next year.

so yes... to all my loyal readers, yours truly will not be able to blog frequently next year for a period of 2 months... but i know all of you will support me right.....? :D

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,

for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:6-9

bla blee

2005-12-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

blogspot has decided to pull a fast one on me (again.) by taking away the "compose html" link.

but nevermind. i have grown quite used to their shoddy maintanence.

anyhow, i will STILL blog.

just last sunday, there was the SAS gathering at Marina Bay to commemorate the passing of the A levels for the JC students and the final meeting before we head off to NS (or the final meeting before we all disappear from each other's lives).

right after lunch with my cell-group-to-be, M.A.D, both daniel and i headed for novena square firstly to look for a Bible for a friend of his, then to buy a pair of pants for his prom night. of course, novena square being as notorious as it is in singapore, doesn't have what he was looking for.

after that, we moved on to wisma atria and he DID get his pair of pants. by then we were pretty late for the 3 'o' clock meeting for the soccer match prior to the dinner.

What, in MY history, you ask, indicates that i play soccer?

NOTHING....

i don't play soccer for the fact i hate it. and you can say the exact same thing for daniel. but our simian friend, in his typical save-the-world-from-utter-and-absolute-destruction attitude decides to go "cheer" them on and "support" them. apparently, i suppose he shares the prediction i made that the turnout for the soccer game would be abyssmal.

and i was totally right. the turnout was so bad, daniel had to stand in as a goal
~~post~~ keeper. after 15 mins of standing the sun and doing super exciting stuff like yawning, he decides to return to the rather comfortable shade i was sitting in and slack the rest of the hour away.

it seemed that he was replaced by another player who came in late. HAHA. and yes, that is daniel walking back.

the dinner was at one of the 4 restaurants (open air) which featured table top hot plates where you cook your food. it's really a ultra watered-down version of seoul garden. i tell you, the whole place looked SO incredibly unhygenic, its really a surprise i didn't get diarhorrea the following day.

the raw food would be placed in these huge metal trays and they were on display, waiting for you to pick at them and cook them. the smell was, well, like a market. but admittedly, it was preettty surprising to see that there weren't any flies.

when night fell, the ground became SO darn oily because of the butter splattering all over sporadically. it was then i decided to try something a friend of mine told me.

first, take a live prawn.

then, get some boiling water ready!

after which, stick the prawn into the boiling water head first.

then, take it out of the water and.....

TADA!!!!! you get a half-cooked prawn! literally! a red head and bluish body.

just a warning before you try this though. the prawn will most probably start jumping and wriggling and splash boiling water all over.

like DUH. how would you react if i dip you head first into boiling oil?

tired moi.

2005-11-29T19:21:00.000-08:00

ah... after 3 days of non-stop action and events, im back to blog!! right now, im contemplating whether to blog events of the pass 3 days.

ah what the heck. ill do just that!

the previous sunday, my cell group went to city bayview hotel in some nondescript part of Dhoby Ghaut to have a buffet lunch. it was actually a final meal together as a cell before dear Clarence resigns to his unavoidable fate as a soldier! so for almost the entire day, he looked like this!

HAHA. thats the look of a pre-enlistee. and nigel decided to entertain us with his portrayal of an ah mah.

anyways, after we gone back, i was on the train with emma and we had this teenage couple arguing beside us! it was so melodrama with the girl -almost- breaking down and the guy acting nonchalent about the whole thing.

so emma and i were communicating via our handphones (read: keying messages and showing each other). apparently we were as inconsipcuous as emma's bright pink top. i only caught snippets of the conversation which included the words "slut", "cut me into pieces", and "what you want me to do".

so with my bountiful imagination, this is what the conversation must have been about!

girl: what you want me to do? why are you angry with me"

boy: 'cause you're such a slut!

girl: slut? what slut? im sooo sexy and HOT! i can't help it if they stare at me. *bimbotic pose*

guy: don't piss me off. otherwise i cut you into pieces like that chinky chonk girl from China.

girl: you cut lah! CUT LAH! im so hurt you said that... *starts to tear*

guy: *silence*

and before you know it, there they are hugging and snogging like nobody's business. so dumb right?

and im very happy. cause i swam yesterday! yes. finally. after all those weeks of being cooped up in this sunless house i manage to get a tan.

and i jus realised, that my ultra bright lime green trunks is just going to look even brighter against a dark, tanned skin. uh oh. but what the heck lah. its a NOVELTY ok. im like, the only guy with lime green trunks at the pool and i sure turned a few heads!

SEE YOUR BETTER, YOU SIMIAN FOOLS!

...

im getting a hang of how to swim. in case you didn't know, i can't swim. yes yes starting laughing. i hope you choke on your saliva and have it dribble out of your nose.

ben seck and i made a wager. we both, will get bright PINK trunks and we both will wear them together. haha! don't worry we are not gay. its called pushing the boundaries!

can you solve it?

2005-11-25T01:38:00.000-08:00

There are 5 houses sitting next to each other, each with a different color,
occupied by 5 guys, each from a different country, and with a favorite drink, cigarette, and pet.

Here are the clues:

The British occupies the red house.
The Swedish owns a dog.
The Danish drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The owner of the green house drinks coffee.
The person who smokes "Pall Mall" owns a bird.
The owner of the yellow house smokes "Dunhill".
The owner of the middle house drinks milk.
The Norwegian occupies the 1st house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who owns a cat.
The person who owns a horse live next door to the person who smokes "Dunhill".
The person who smokes "Blue Master" drinks beer
.The German smokes "Prince".
The Norwegian lives next door to the blue house.
The person who smokes "Blend" lives next door to the person who drinks water.

The question is: Who owns the fish?
...

According to Einstein, only 2% of the world can actually solve this problem. I already solved it. that places me in the 2%. wanna join the club? solve it.... its really fun! if you wanna know the answer, just email me! :]

army and the like

2005-11-24T05:31:00.000-08:00

Today i blew $60 to buy NS stuffies.
...

yup. $60 to buy all the things that i will need as an almost bald recruit. what a pain.

actually, i was expecting myself to walk away with truckloads of stuff packed away in red plastic bags, but i was so totally wrong! all i will ever need are:

1. zip-lock bags

2. fishing spools

3. fat industrial like rubber bands

4. 3 rolls of black tape

5. a padlock

6. gutters

7. an L torch

8. plastic bag

9. shoe polish

10. polishing cloth

11. one PT shirt and one PT singlet

12. a cheap black watch

13. a cheap LOUD alarm clock

and thats it! and now you must be wondering how it can cost so much right? its all the watch and clock's fault... they cost $35 in total. -__- so much for being cheap.

but anyways, shortly after i came home, i tried on the army singlet and it was actually pretty comfy! so i decided to use it for my run. which was not very good at all.

i just recovered from a bout of cold 4 days ago and it STILL is bugging me. and on top of that, i got stitches (read: pain at either side of abdomen when running) when i was running. darn it.

so my run ended pre-maturely and to my ultimate dismay. (T_T)

and i found out a horrifying fact.

The army singlets do not soak up sweat well.
...

oh the horror. so much so that i got a fuuunny pattern on my singlet after the run.

looks weird right?

on the capital punishment

2005-11-23T03:28:00.000-08:00

there has been a lot of commotion over this Nyugen death sentence thingy, all over the fact that he was caught for drug trafficking. honestly, personally, truly, im quite indifferent over the death sentence. in fact, im quite indifferent over death itself since when we die is really not up to us anyways, be it at the gallows or somewhere else.

the whole commotion started with our dear friends down under (Aussies) screaming bloody blue murder over our court's desicion to hang Nyugen. its really no surprise since they are against the death sentence. in fact, Aussies seem to be against ANY country that tries their citizens under foreign law!

take the female model case in Indonesia for example. despite the evidence, the Aussies seem to weave in an intricate (and rather improbable) story of how she was framed. and now, they want Singapore to commute the death sentence under grounds that, well, they don't like the death sentence.

you know, i don't like toast and jams for breakfast. and oddly enough, thats what they have in Australia. and since i don't like it, im going to say that all Aussies should stop having toast for breakfast and have half-boiled eggs, kaya toast and a cup of really crappy coffee for breakfast.

Why?

Because, well, i don't like toast!
...

that sounds totally absurd, yes? what they have for breakfast and how they have it is none of my business since that is how they do things over there. in the same way, its totally absurd for them to tell us what to do with drug traffickers just because they don't do what we do, i.e, hang them.

one thing that Aussies should come to realise is this. just because you do things differently in your country from others doesn't bestow the right for your citizens to be above the law in other nations. if you're in another land, you jolly well abide by their rules and suffer the consequences that follow if you break them. nobody cares if you abolished the death sentence because the crime is in Singapore, not Australia. and so simply put, you pay by Singapore's rules - death.

and of course, not just Aussies, but some S'poreans are lobbying against Nyugen's sentence.
here's what Mr Wang has to say:

... where were they when Took Leng How was sentenced to death for killing Huang Na, an eight-year-old little girl? How come they didn't organise a solidarity event for Took?

See, if as a matter of principle, you stand against capital punishment all the way, then you can't pick and choose your convicts. You can't say, "Ooh, I hate people who kill children, I shan't support Took. But Nguyen looks like a handsome young man and he has a twin-brother sob story, so I'll support him. Shanmugam Murugesu has two kids and a poor old mother - I'll support him too."

That's nonsense. If you stand against capital punishment - you stand all the way (like Amnesty International does). It shouldn't matter what the crime was, or whether the criminal has a sob story or looks handsome or not - you stand all the way. On the basis that a life is a life. Took's life is a life too.

of which i wholeheartedly agree. but the crux of the matter is this.

If you commit a crime in another nation, you pay for it by their laws. period.
..

and so therefore, to all Aussies out there, deal with it. the death sentence on Nyugen will not be commuted. if Singapore stood up against the US in caning the American citizen for vandalising, what on earth makes you think that Singapore will give in to you?

Singapore has every right to punish its convicts. you on the other hand, have no right to force Singapore to withdraw its hand.

pickady boo.

2005-11-22T04:05:00.000-08:00

life has been so $$$-ful as of late. i.e., it seems i have this insatiable urge to buy anything that catches my fancy...

right now, my life consists mainly of sleeping, waking up, eating, exercising and, well, sleeping. and the cycle goes on and on...

and its in times like these you realise how idiotic life can get.

when there's something important going on like studies and what not, you fret over it. you worry over it and spend every single waking and sleeping moment wondering how you can get it done and over with.

and then, you feel afraid and wonder how on earth you are going to overcome it. so, you try and try to do whatever it takes to get the better of it, but then you slack.

finally, when the time comes and its here and now, you spend all of your energy -well, most of it- destroying this thing you tried so hard to defeat, eg. studies.

then its NOW! its OVER. and you realise that you actually NEED something to fret over.

you NEED something to worry over.

and you NEED something to crack your brains over to prevent yourself from dying from boredom.

the ironies of our lives.
...

ah well. onto more exciting stuff!! from now on, im giving movie reviews for the movies i watched!

ok. i just watched harry potter yesterday! and so, here begins my not-so-long post on it.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
...

The show started with the dream that harry had as according to the book, but sadly, key moments such as that are lacking in this film.

In the novel, one of the defining moments of the Quidditch world was the Quidditch world cup, but sadly, the script writer decided to size the whole scene down and axed out the match. What resulted was a gap in the flow of the story, which will be occur many more times in the film. the character development of viktor krum and fleur delacour was disappointing, no doubt.

other scenes on how they interacted with the threesome (harry, hermione and ron) was almost non-existent. in fact, viktor had a grand total of 2 lines in the entire film. if the director had invested in more of the key scenes, the film would have been longer, but it would have made the film a lot more wholesome.

While the direction of the film captured the darkness of this installment of harry potter, the director was a tad restrained in portraying the darker scenes. i personally feel that the techniques used were rather corny, but they delivered no less.

all in all, i would give the show 7/10.

enjoy..... :]

LIBERATION!!!!!!!

2005-11-20T03:31:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!
.....

after a two week hiatus, im BACK WITH A VENGENCE
...

yes. but before i begin blogging about my A levels, lemme update you on God's work in my family.

MY FATHER JUST GOT SAVED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!

*collective gasps*

yes! he just got saved today. and guess who brought him to to Christ? MY MOM!!! who's so young in the faith herself!!!

Praise God yes? yes? say yes.

"Yes...."

YES! its amazing. ab-so-lute-ly to-ta-lly AMAZING!!! others pray for fifteen years for their parents to get saved. and God saved them in two years; two years after i renounced a life of witchcraft and turned to Him. :D yes yes yes! now i will be praying for him to grow spiritually... :)

and the As are OVER!

YES!

OVER!

GONE!

WOOSH!

NEVER-APPEAR-AGAIN!

TATA!
...

and so don't ask me about my As! lest i slap you silly! :D

and now, after a moment of happines, im going to get ultra pissed.

WHY THE HELL IS IT SO DARN HARD TO FIND JOCKSTRAPS IN SINGAPORE?!?!?!?
...

-___-

for those of you who don't know what a jockstrap is, go find out.

I was at taka for the better part of the afternoon, searching the entire underwear department (now you know what it is.) for the darn jockstrap. but apparently, taka doesn't seem to sell.

so, i dragged myself to metro at paragon, expecting them to carry it. one would think that a shopping mall like paragon would carry almost EVERYTHING.... but did they sell jockstraps??

OH OH OH...noooooo. they don't. so, i dragged my butt allll the way to cK tangs and they didn't carry it either. except the calvin klein brand. ITS SO FREAKING EX LA. 35 bucks for underwear.

*slaps forehead*

seriously, im a STUDENT. i don't have that kind of cash. so in the end, i settled for other stuff... (T_T) i must go tampines mall and century square to find. I MUST. and no one will stop me understand?

YOU UNDERSTAND?

wow whee!

2005-11-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

WoW wHeE!!!

the A levels are coming soon soon soooooon...

now, my life is so routine, time just flies past me.

every morning i wake up at bout 9+.

then i grab a quick bite, read newspaper and watch a little tv and tada!! its 11+.

then i get down to do a ten year series paper.

then i finish at bout 2.

then i rest till 3.

then i get back till 5+.

then i do my weights.

then i bathe and then i have dinner and its 7+.

then i do another ten year series paper till ten plus.

then i rest.

then i do another paper.

then i do quiet time and sleep.

now repeat this pattern for a whole week straight. suddenly, a day doesn't seem so long after all! before you know it, BAM!

half the day is gone... but anyhow, i promise to all my loyal readers which i can count with these 10 fingers of mine that i will post a little more consistently when the evil As are over.

Finally, im going to add a new section to every post! its called the....

Did You Know?

yup. every post, i will post something which is not commonly known! wahaha... so we'll start this today!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Did You Know...?

Did you know that we eat bugs everyday? the thought of eating bugs really shouldn't gross you out at all.

that orange juice you just bought from the counter and drank in the morning contains at least 10 maggot eggs and other insect fragments! and it is even legal!

in fact, almost all the things that are processed (especially 'natural' products) have bug fragments in them. in a single bar of chocolate, there is enough bug fragments to form half the body of a bug!

so the next time you drink that orange juice, remember that your eating bugs!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

blee bloo

2005-11-01T22:54:00.000-08:00

The A levels are coming in 6 days.

woopee. YAY! and then, the As itself is 2 weeks long. i really really really REALLY look forward to that two weeks flying past me. im a tad spent over all this mugging and ten year series....

i watched The Exorcism of Emily Rose and i tell you, 70% of what was shown was seriously rubbish. really. they pretty much mocked the authority of Christ and portrayed demonic powers as if they are equally, if not more powerful, then Jesus.

crap i tell you. but anyhow, i noticed something! you see, most people are pretty jaded about horror films. BUT, it seems that people have a certain penchant for shows anchoring around exorcisms! really. and not just ANY exorcism films, its primary Christian VS Satan films. it sad though, that Hollywood likes to portray Satan as a power that is on par with Jesus.

which is really really REALLY pure and unadulterated rubbish. would you believe me if i told you that demons are afraid of Christians who know their authority in Christ? uh huh. and here we are, Christians afraid of demons who are afraid of us. its so ironic. ah well...

in truth, the power between Jesus and satan is very lop-sided, i.e., Jesus is really much more of a force than satan could ever dream to be... Hollywood should begin to show REAL exorcisms based on Protestanism. no holy water, no rituals, no crucifix, just the authority of Christ.

then i wouldn't mind paying nine freaking dollars to watch a movie like that. :]

woo hoo!

2005-10-29T07:47:00.000-07:00

today's evangelistic service was amazing, as always.

not because the singing was great, neither was it because lots of practice went into the service (barely any practice i would think), neither was it because the preaching was superb (although it WAS good), but because God was among us.

out of all the new-comers, i would say more than half accepted the Jesus into their life!

AWESOME

don't you thing its awesome how God is moving amongst the youth? because of today, the youth ministry at Revival Centre Church is under going restructing AGAIN. and the last restructing was done just a few months ago after Camp Accelerate.

the young cell groups are growing exponentially - just Joyce's (my ex-cell member whos now a cell leader) cell alone now has TWENTY kids. that's a lot of kids...

and new leaders are arising! no no... i doubt it will be me.. WAHAHAHA. no, seriously. i still have a loooong way to go... still so much maturation to take place and discipline to take place in my spiritual life. ultimately, all that matters to me is that i can serve my God! :D

its really amazing that God is doing so much in our midst. right now, the church can barely hold all the present cell-groups. and now that the youth ministry has grown AGAIN, we really really really need to re-develop the church. otherwise we're going to have cell out on the carpark... -_-'' but its a good problem! :]

lets move on to me now... how is my spiritual life? im no longer going through the period where my spiritual life grows at an exponential rate... right now, it all boils down to my obedience on the finer things of God's refing process in me. i have been a stubborn mule as of late. sigh... but i know that God is faithful.

but that doesn't stop me from feeling so disappointed with myself. i should be advancing along with the rest as God's wave washes over us. but here i am, trying to keep up with God when its really not so difficult - just obey. i really really really want this A levels to be over. all this time, my mind has been filled with my studies, so much so i am giving God the mininum time that i should be giving, i.e, my daily quiet time, which is not even of good quality.

thats not to say of course, that all my quiet time is really bad. i have good ones, and bad ones. but what really peeves me is that God has spoken to me on the key of good quiet time, but i just don't seem to be doing what He instructed me to do. hai... after this A's are over, i think the very first thing im going to do when i get back home is to worship Him. a REAL time of worship...

I tried to walk on the water

and found myself under the sea

So with water up my nose

I felt Your hand come close to save me

I've tried to cast out the demons

I've gone to the darkest of regions

When fear has me shaking

You suddenly

break in to save me

I desire to be like you

Like any son or daughter

I want to be like my Father

I desire to be like you

You promised to never

forsake me

So I'll risk it all if

You'll make me

like You

God cares... do you?

2005-10-23T06:58:00.000-07:00

you know, its funny how much the poor and the needy are publicized.

its funny how many times we see the pictures of children roaming around looking for food,

women with unkempt hair and rags for clothes,

men who look so despondent without the surest sign of a fleeting hope in those forlorn eyes.

then we look. then we think.

Then we forget.

its almost as if we never saw it. those starving children. that desperate mother. that forsaken man.

its almost as if we had seen too much of it. so much so our hearts become as dry as bone, our hearts harder than stone, our hearts colder than steel.

its almost as if it was something inevitable. something that was "meant to be".

then i realized. we are monsters.

here we are, Singaporeans, who have everything. every child is so blessed. every child has a handphone. every child has at least some form of education. every child has something.

but the irony; the deepest and almost twisted irony, is that we feel that we don't have enough.

i have seen so many teenagers, so arrogant, so expectant. they expect the sky from their parents and the world to give them all that they desire. they damn those who can't give them what they want. they curse those who disagrees with the way they live.

They don't care about the poor.

and have the audacity to say things like: "too bad lah! it's their fault! who ask them to be so LAZY?"

others pity from afar, then move on as if they hadn't seen anything.

others, couldn't care less.

What good did we do to be born in Singapore where we have everything?

And what evil did that boy in East Timor to be born with nothing?

precisely. Nothing. did we do something in our mother's womb to be blessed as such? hardly.

but yet today, youths in singapore take so much for granted. they expect the world.

here we are, worrying about our PSLEs, our O levels and A levels, our boyfriends and girlfriends, our future and our wives, our jobs and our pay.

did it ever cross our minds, that that boy over there in East Timor, is not worried about his studies, or his girlfriend, or his wife, or his job, or his future?

why?

Because he doesn't know if he will live to see tomorrow.

and here we are. so high up in our lofty chairs, worrying over the most inane things ever.

am i saying that im not guilty of it? absolutely not. i have seen the poor. and i have ignored. i have seen the needy, and i turned the other cheek. here i am fretting over my A levels, while that girl in the Phillipines scavages for food amidst the rubbish; rubbish that is our forsaken, rubbish that is their GOLDMINE.

but indeed i thank God with all of my heart and soul, that my heart has not hardened against the poor and the needy. i thank God that my heart has not come to the point of becoming jaded. i thank God that i am convicted of this.

so many say, "what can i do? eat less rice? buy less stuff?"

it's not how much we deprive ourselves that help. we can throw out all of our affluence and live like the poor, but its to do no good. rather than depriving ourselves, HELP THEM.

GIVE THEM.

give to the poor and the needy, the widows and the orphans, the oppressed and the forsaken. GIVE to them as God has given you.

God is not going to ask our how many rich friends we had, He is going to ask us to how many of the poor that we were friends to.

God is not going to ask us how big our wadrobe is, He is going to ask us how many we had help to clothe.

God is not going to ask us how big is our house, He is going to ask us how much of the poor did we opened our house to.

God is not going to ask us how much we tried to be like the poor.

He is going to ask us how much we tried to help the poor to be free from poverty like us.

i'm taking my steps to helping the poor. it can be simple things, like donating a little more to the students walking around with their tin cans or buying a little more tissue paper from that old lady at the corner.

if there is anything that God is going to measure us by, if there is anything that God is going to judge us by, is by how much we help the poor and the needy.

God cares for the poor and the needy, the widows and orphans, the oppressed and the forsaken.

Do you?

blueah.

2005-10-21T05:55:00.000-07:00

my food chemistry is going to DIE.

DIE. DIE YOU HEAR ME?

im so sad. stupid food chemistry. why did my school ever choose such a le chey topic.

and speaking of food chemistry, i have something super interesting to blog about!

just about an hour ago, my mom asked me to taste the ayam risa risa (chicken with lemongrass+chili+other stuff) and tell her how it was. and so i did.

then, i headed off to the bathroom to bathe and WAH LAH! i stained my shirt with the damnable sauce. but then again, its a shirt i usually wear at home so who cares about the stains right...

so i took it off and grabbed some washing powder and happily smeared it all over the yellowish stain (of which i suppose came from a generous addition of yellow ginger) and GUESS WHAT?

the stain turned RED!!!!

it was AB-SO-LUTE-LY FASCINATING!!!!! alright -fine-. it was inane. that's what a few hours of studying and the anticipation of A levels do to your brain. but WHO CARES!

IT TURNED RED.

it was so interesting! then, i splashed it with water and washed it with soap and GUESS WAT? it turned back to YELLOW!

then i smeared it with the washing powder again and yade yade... you get the point lah.

so amusing right? ah... the wonders of science... and yellow ginger... and soap...

but let me digress now.

Do you know who BARNEY is?

he is the stupid purple dinosaur and he is ab-so-lute-ly annoying. really. i hate it when the song goes:

"Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination, blah blah blah blah blah....." ah... SHUT UP.

really. whenever i see barney on tv or anywhere for that matter, i got to resist the urge to slap that lumbering purple lardball of a freaktard. oh and when he/she/it LAUGHS. he/she/it sounds like he's/she's/it's is choking on ping pong balls that he/she/it mistaken for fishballs. really. he sounds THAT dumb.

i really dread it if that purple lump actually survives, by some freaking twist of fate, till the day i have kids. and my kids fall for the evil and idiotic charm of barney and beg me to bring them to his/her/it's concert in singapore. i tell you i will DIE.

can you imagine? all the kids with their daddies and mommies dancing to barney is a dinosaur from our imagination... i'll most probably get a seizure the moment the show starts and fall to the ground convulsing and foaming at the mouth. then my kid will turn around and look at his twitching dad before returning his attention to the show and begin prancing about like some paraplegic chicken with the grace of a spastic donkey.

i can almost swear seeing barney's eternal smile curling into a grin as he giggles with a sinister "ngee hee heee hee hee...", all the while watching me as i DIE from his/her/it's anal attempts at singing which is really synonymous with him/her/it farting through his face...

yes. that's how much i HATE barney. whoever created he/she/it must have regreted it the moment that purple ball took shape in reality. one day, kids of the world will see the evilness of barney and stone that lard ball to death. seriously. come people chant with me!

DIE Barney DIE....

.

2005-10-20T01:05:00.000-07:00

I HAVE BEEN CONVICTED OF MURDER.

murdering my brain cells, that is...

an hour ago, i had a ball of a time memorising how to derive Bernoulli's equation. and of course, all the practicing with that deplorable ten year series book.

School physics.

in case you don't realise, the physics we learn in school is known as NEWTONIAN physics.

which is really a few centuries old. that is to say, its mostly OBSOLETE.

now, people are using MODERN physics. that is to say, crap that only crappers can understand.

now THAT is what i call physics. i mean, WHO on EARTH cares why there is a reaction for every action? as far as most people are concerned, you slap me then i slap you. simple as that.

aaanyways, whilst serving the net, i came across the blog of the NewUrbanMale staff! now imagine that.

I bought a party tank from NUM before for the sake of beach wear. when i wore it for non-beach reasons, my friends said that i look like a man-whore a.k.a a slutty himbo (male version of bimbo). -_-. im not too sure if im suppose to be flattered by that, but thats besides the point.

the staff that attended to me was friendly, contrary to recent rants about their services. i must say though, their clothes are designed to show the male flesh. if you have it, that is. ah well. i don't think i will be buying stuff from them anytime soon.

but what the heck. ill link them for the fact that i have sooo little links. the linkie is at the bottom of the page. the guy is actually the guy who served me when i bought my party tank. honestly, im pretty surprised he's still there. wahaha.. really, who's a full time sales assistant these days?

onto more serious stuff,

A LEVELS ARE COMING IN 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!

*hyperventilates*

help. help. help. help. help. help. heeelllp.

sigh. i have been practicing and practicing, but there seems to be minimal progress. hai. nevermind. i must press on and ENJOY the rest of the year after the dastardly paper because my freedom will be GONE by next year during january.

ns woes.

2005-10-16T07:56:00.000-07:00

DAMN YOU BLOGSPOT.

GO DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR USELESS SERVER.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

-__-.

i jus typed out an entire entry and nothing come out. i am feeling so ..... -_- now. ARGH.

nevermind. i will just type it all AGAIN.

ok. *mutters* DON"T BLOGSPOT HAVE A RECOVERY MEMORY????? ARGH. anyways.

since we are on the topic of ns, i will post about ns stuff.

thanks to the wonderously effective/ineffective propaganda that was employed on us in the form of social studies when we were still in school, Singapore expounds on how wonderfully formidable the defence force is.

you see Singapore banks heavily on the whole concept of citizen army. for those of you who slept during your social studies class (tsk tsk...), a citizen army is where the bulk of the male population has had military training of some sort and is "combat worthy".

in theory, the whole concept of a citizen army is suppose to be almost perfect. just like communism.

but as we all know, communism turned out to be a major flop.

and the thing is, the concept of a citizen army has NEVER been tested. right.

a few months ago, while i was playing badminton at SAFRA toa payoh, about 10 30+ (most probably younger) guys were taking their napfa.

and was i APPALLED.

a grand total of ONE guy could manage a chin-up, while the rest just hung from the bar like flailing bananas. to put it in a more blunt fashion, they looked like a bunch of inept monkeys caught right in the middle of an epileptic fit whilst hanging on for dear life from the bar.

the other stations was just ABYSSMAL.

and the first thought that came to my mind was:

IS THE DEFENCE AND FREEDOM OF SINGAPORE IN THE HANDS OF THESE MEN????

frankly, i think they will die from breathlessness before they even reach the battle front.

if you ask me, the only way a citizen force is going to work is when the guys are FIT. and when i say FIT, i mean MUSCULAR. LEAN. TONED. SIX PACK. guys from the age of 18-40 should be forced by LAW to be fit.

imagine a nation where guys with a six pack and a broad, thick chest is as common as the ten cents you find in your wallet.

and frankly, how many actually remember their training?? i can imagine this on the battle field.

Inside a tank

soldier 1: oi. what does this button do?

soldier 2: dunno. just press la. then you will find out.

soldier 1: siao. later i kena sia kang for pressing something wrong...

soldier 3: or getting us ALL killed.

soldier 1: hey, how about this?

*TEEEEE* alarms sound

soldier 3: DID YOU JUST PRESS THE BUTTON TO FIRE THE TANK SHELL??!?!?! YOU STUPID #$#$@$%@#!!!

soldier 2: relac la brother... i remember my training (i think..).. just press THIS!

*BOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM*....

yup. i can sooo see that happening.

sigh. is that the sorry fate of the singapore armed forces? we are sooo poor thing...

2005-10-15T08:14:00.000-07:00

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yes. you guessed it right. that's my enlistment letter. that is the foreword to my losing 2 years of my life for the sake of Singapore.

IT'S MY LETTER INFORMING THAT I WILL BE ENLISTING.

ON THE 6TH OF JANUARY 2006.

yup. funny how i was bemoaning earlier in the day, why my letter is still not here. well, i got it! -_-

its interesting you know, when i look back on life. a few years ago, when i was still the innocent and sweet primary school student, i knew that i had to go NS some day. but then again, i didn't really think much of it since it was still so far away.

then in secondary school, i suddenly realised it wasn't going to be long before i head off to the offshore chalet (pulau tekong...). but again, i thought it was still sooo far away, and forgot all about it.

lo and behold, at the end of my J1, my cousin went off for his NS. then, it dawned on me.

ONE MORE YEAR.

but i thought of my A levels, and forgot about it again.

now.... with just 3 weeks more to the A levels, i suddenly realised.

I'm here. With less than a few months to my enlistment.

i actually survived my adolescence. when i thought that i might just wither away. of course it is by God's grace.

NS is going to be a whole new chapter of my life... i have no idea how i'm to survive in there, but i know that He will be there. :D

now isn't that comforting? no, seriously; it is comforting. ah well... we've all heard of all the terrible tales and sadistic trainers. but somehow, they all survived. so why can't i?

2005-10-11T05:47:00.000-07:00

it has been so long since i last blogged.

frankly, me brain is on the verge of an overload. all this mugging and panicking and fearing that i won't get my As is really putting my mind on one heck of a strain.

im practically mugging 3 subjects a day by doing A level papers, and im still so darn insecure at this point of time when i should be in the process of encouraging myself rather than burning myself out...

:(

ah well. C'est la vie... i just got to suck it in and PRAY. prayer can do wonders you know... cus i know my God answers and hears and knows what im going through!

:D

anyhow, i hope i can do well for As? but i know ultimately nothing is up to me. all i can hope to do is just to do my best... maybe ill do well enough for me to jump and dance, or do well enough to eat grass for a living... then again,

Jehovah Jireh

that means the Lord Provides... so i will wait on Him. but that's no excuse not to mug...

Sigh...

ah well. all this worrying and slacking is not going to help. i must get down to it. and i got a Jason Upton CD for my Bdae!!

i must say, Jason Upton has a GREAT voice. but above that, his songs are pretty good. you ought to give it a try! (if you listen to Gospel and absolutely cannot stand secular songs).

speaking of secular songs, i find them so meaningless. what are secular songs? all the songs from MTV yade yade... but of course, my dearest readers didn't come to listen to me preach.

and to record my physical achievements, i finally manage to run 4.5+ km at one stretch!

WooHoo!

ok la ok la... i can hear all you macho, muscular, buff guys going,

"aiyah.... 4.5 km ONLY... i can do 8 km LOR...."

-__-

ok la whatever la. its my first time ok.... i have always failed my 2.4 since secondary school. in secondary 1, i ran bout 14+ mins which is awfully sad. ditto that for secondary school. and finally, in secondary 3, i passed!

but i failed in secondary 4. : ' (

but anyways, when i got to J1, i started to pass! i don't know how la. but its great... :D

in anycase, do keep me in prayer... A levels is really not fun.

i really really really cannot wait for the As to be over.

but ironically,

i don't want time to pass so quickly,

cus i got so much to brush up on... ah. the sweet, sweet ironies of our lives...

2005-10-02T01:04:00.000-07:00

ah....

back from a day at church and an hour at orchard!

retail therapy is such a double-edged sword.... you feel happy after you buy something, then oh so guilty after realising it costs a tad steep.

BUT WHO CARES...

in case you were wondering what on earth i bought, i bought a pair of pants from c.K!

no no no... not my store but the REAL c.K! and NO. its not some tighty - whitie - must - wear- thong kind of pants. its jus a simple (or maybe not so) black/subtle green pants: a DOUBLE TONE!!! im such a sucker for visual texture. :D

but before you cringe in horror, the pants is mostly black. HA. or grey. WHATEVER!

but anyways, as i was walking through the mall, i was thinking about NAMES.

yes, names. in fact, i was thinking bout naming my kids! muahahahhaa.... i must be psychotic to be thinking so far.

like, hello... i haven't even sat for my As yet and im thinking bout fatherhood. but thats besides the point!

so i was thinking how sad it is for people who likes the name Monica.

DON'T YOU THINK IT SOUNDS *insert adjective*?

i feel sad for such people...and their children who will be called Monica...

but i feel sadder for people with the surname Cheng who like to call their daughter Monica.

Monica Cheng.

i don't know about you, but it sounds positively salacious to me.

Mo-ni-ca Cheng.

if you read it slowly, it is actually a mandarin + hokkien comment which quite unceremoniusly translates as

"Touch your arsehole."

so if you have the surname Cheng and intend to call your daugther Monica, you have my sincerest condolences.

oh yes! and i saw a show called "____ ____ CRAZIEST VIDEOS!" (forgot the full title. bah...who cares anyway!)

and the last video they showed was a reporter getting pecked to death by,

HORRORS UPON HORRORS....

a duck.

well, Duh.

its something something CRAZIEST VIDEOS not something something YUCKIEST/BLOODIEST/WHAT-HAVE-YOU VIDEOS!

anyhow, this reporter was trying to build rapport (ooo it rhymes...) with a duck on a boat. apparently that was the most exciting thing happening then.

ANYWAYS... while he was petting and carressing the duck, it suddenlly POUNCED on him and pecked away at his head!

WAHAHAHA...

i can almost imagine the duck going,

duck: DIE HUMAN DIE... QUAK QUAK QUAK QUAK QUAK (sinister quacking) .... *peck* *peck* * peck*

human: ouch. OUCH! OUCH! get this bloody thing off me! (for your info, that was what the reporter REALLY said)

duck: FEEEEEL MY BEAK... *peck* *peck* *peck*

hahaha!

but inane entries aside, i am thirsty. going to get a glass of water. wait ah...

*gulp*

*gulp*

*gulp*

ah hah. well. on to more serious stuff. ladies might want to grab tissue papers. guys might want to. well. watever.

ready for my true story? of course you are... who ever said you had a choice? MUAHAHHAHA....

i once had a friend called Norwyn. He was a good friend; he was smart... well accepted... friendly and very tactful. just about every teacher in school knew him by name (not because he was infamous).

i knew him since i was primary 3. back then i barely spoke to him and we went to different classes when the year was over and we moved on to primary 4 (which was a really bad year cause my pri 3 teacher was biased against and sent me to the last class -_-).

it was only in p5 and p6 i was in the same class as Norwyn again, and because we took the same bus back home, we would usually go back together. yup... so while walking to the bus stop we would just crap as pri 5 & 6 students would crap.

then, we moved on to secondary 1. back then, i seriously had no idea what cca to join, and Norwyn signed up for drama. so being the mindless, tactless git that i was, i signed on to drama too (peer pressure?).

so the year went by fast... us getting caught up in drama... name calling... bullying (i so hate to use that word. make me sound so defenceless of which i assure you i was not!). sec 1 and sec 2 went by like any other, uneventful. stressful both socially and academically.

and throughout my time in secondary school, i never really associated with other people. mostly due to the fact that i wasn't very well like by the people in my class. until today, im still rather clueless as to why they hated me. but i attribute it to my inept attempts at being friendly and tactful and rather, came across as snobbish and aloof (and it didn't help that i was introverted).

so my only true friend was a bunch of people. they were Norwyn and Daniel (a bunch...wahaha. a pair sounds more accurate).

lets just say that our mental frequencies were in sync, and we 3 were mature beyond our age, for some elusive reason. so we were this insipid bunch of people with the exception of Daniel (since he oh so proudly proclaimed to have infiltrated every single clique in the class. pfft... ;] ). and the funny thing is, we sat at the corner of the class! haha..

as much as the two of them were my closest friends, i never really saw them as my best friends. i was never able to open my heart to them, to share with them my joy and sorrows. maybe its a guy thing? whatever it was, i felt alone, despite the fact that i had two of them as friends.

so i took our friendship for granted, well, to a certain extent.

then one day, as i was walking home with Norwyn, i don't know how, but we came to the topic of suicide. i just spoke candidly, never thinking much of the conversation. then he snapped his head in my direction and looked at me in the eye and snarled,

"I will really do it you know. I want to die. I want to end it all."

i was somewhat shocked. but being the proud idiot that i was, i refuse to be shocked, so i acted cool.

"for what... anyways, if you wanna kill yourself, must do it more glamourously... like, take panadol and brandy or something. Don't jump down from HDB block! thats so Channel 8."

i know i know... those of you reading this are most probably thinking what a jerk i am. a friend is suicidal and im here egging him on?!??! i definitely could have said something else. but i didn't.

then a few months later, one day, while i was at home enjoying my early SARS holiday, on the 1st of april 2003, i received a phone call from my social studies teacher at 2+ pm.

he was asking me the usual things a teacher would ask. how was i... whether i have been doing his homework... yade yade. then, suddenly, the topic changed a 180 degrees, and he asked me bout Norwyn.

"Er.. Chim Keng?"

"Yeah?"

"How is Norywn doing?"

"Er... Fine i guess. haha.. how would i know? why don't you ask him?"

"Oh, its nothing. Just asking... Alright then, I'll see you in school soon."

"Sir?"

"Hm?"

"Did something happen to Norwyn?"

"Oh no no no. I was just asking. "

then he hung up. and there i was, supremely bewildered. how did inquiring about my studies turn to asking bout Norwyn? something was going on. but i didn't think much of it.

Me saying to myself in my mind: "What, Norwyn kena SARS? Or what, commit suicide? WAHAHA... i just imagining things..."

since then, i forgot all bout it, and turned to my computer and began a game of MEDAL OF HONOUR.

3 HOURS LATER. time: 5+ pm.

*phone rings*

Me: "Hello?"

Norwyn's brother:"May i speak to Chim Keng please?"

Me: "Speaking.."

Norwyn's brother: "Erm. I know this sounds like a joke. But its not. Really. Norwyn.. Norwyn... He commited suicide."

*silence*

Me:"What?"

*Norwyn's father takes the phone*

Father: "Chim Keng?"

Me: "Hello? Eh, what is..."

Father: "I know this sounds like a joke, but it really isn't. It really isn't...."

and there i was, shell-shocked, listening to every single detail on the phone. the letters he left behind, right to where they found his body.

I didn't cry, because i couldn't. right there and then, i felt nothing. and for the first time in a long long time, i felt so frightened at what i had become. but it was later i realised it was me still in shock, and my brain was just protecting itself by coming up with some mental anaesthetic.

It all felt so surreal, from the moment i picked up the phone, when i set my foot out of the house, when i walked towards the Singapore Casket Centre, when i saw Norwyn's mother going hysterical and crying her heart out, when i saw his body lying there in the coffin.

so surreal. throughout the service, i tried not to cry. i made a promise to myself i wouldn't cry. i wasn't going to shed a tear in front of my classmates who mocked me and called me names. i wasn't going to let them see me broken. and so there i was, not able to sing a single note in tune when we sung amazing grace.

it was only when Norwyn's mother took my hand and said in the midst of her pained sobs,

"stay strong! Norwyn would want that of you..."

it was then i jus broke down. i couldn't stop the tears or the pain... if i could, i would have just sat there and weeped till the dawn broke.

i never felt so miserable, so rotten, so broken. i felt worse than a discarded lump of manure. even manure had its use. i felt so useless and just broken thoroughly. i just lay in bad that night. tears flowing down my face. i had nothing left. all my intellect, all my dignity, the facade i placed over myself to appear strong, the battles against Life itself, it was all for nothing. I failed utterly. i couldn't even save my friend when i could have.

just when i thought i had nothing left, when i thought it was all over, i remembered Him. the One who i blasphemed all along. Him who i hated when i was dabbling in witchcraft. Him who was at my bedside, crying with me and comforting me even though i hated Him.

and then for the first time in a long long long time, i uttered a tear filled prayer to Him.

"God. Just take my pain away. Just... take it all away..."

then i felt the love of the Lord filling my heart, my soul, my mind, my being. all that grieve and pain and regret, disappeared in the light of His glory, burnt away like an insubstantial mist in the face of the sun.

That night, i slept soundly, because i knew He was holding me in His arms, holding me so tightly, never letting go.

********************************

why did i write the entry? i don't know. but i felt i had to do it. to write this in memory of a friend whom i realised was so dear to me, only after he left us.

and sometimes, i wonder where he is right now. in Heaven? when he is sitted beside Jesus? or in Hell, suffering?

was he a Christian? i don't know. did he die as one? i have no idea.

he was a Christian when he was still around, and i tried to turn him away (i was still in witchcraft back then).

and he really did. he told me at least. but when i spoke to another friend who was practising witchcraft with me after Norwyn died, he said that Norwyn told him he still prayed to God.

I felt betrayed back then, but now, i hope and pray that it is true, that he died with Jesus in his heart, that now he is somewhere else in a better place.

very drama you say? a fake entry just to get readers? I'll leave you to judge for youselves. but at least let me leave you with a simple piece of advice.

Cherish what you have now, the things that you can hold in your arms. Because one day, you might have to cherish them from afar.

irony.

2005-09-29T07:19:00.000-07:00

WHAT THE MONKEY IS GOING ON???

as usual, the blogger tool bar has just gone bonkers -again-. ah well.

in case you didn't know, there is a HUGE uproar over blogging.

over the act of blogging you say?

nay... its over students who post derogatory remarks bout their teachers on their blog...

there has been much debate over this issue in the blogging community (mostly the singapore blogging community) and there are mainly TWO factions.

1. The pro-students, i.e., people who support the students who kena punished and fervently believe that they have the right to post what they want, how they want.

2. The 'others', who support the stand that bloggers DO NOT have the right to post what they want and that the blog is NOT private space.

which faction do i belong to?

the 2ND faction.

now, before you throw stone me to death, let me explain why i support the 2nd view.

firstly, lets face it. the blog is NOT private space. there are no physical boundaries in a virtual world. what is private? if you owe a piece of land, that land is YOURS and you have the right to allow people into it or not. now if you DON'T allow other people on it, then you have PRIVACY.

but the fact of the matter is, nobody can OWN a website. in the first place, it's called the WORLD WIDE WEB. EVERBODY can read what you type without needing to ask for your permission.

secondly, many people say that the teachers deserve it. well, just because they are evil witches or what not DOES NOT justify our insulting and defaming them. some say this is freedom of speech. if this is freedom of speech, then i can, FOR EXAMPLE... stand in the Padang and rant about how our government just pays lip service and never means what they say. but that is NOT freedom of speech.

freedom of speech should carry with it a degree of self-censorship. if speaking our mind is freedom of speech, then it will just degenerate into us flicking verbal daggers at each other.

personally, i feel that students should admit that its WRONG to defame or insult your teachers, no matter how evil they are. i have had my share of teachers who practically have the words "KICK ME TO THE MOON!!!" stamped on their faces, owing to the fact that they are either biased or just evil. us students damning them to hell just lowers us down to their level. if your teacher maligns you, then just suck it in and MOVE ON.

later in life, you're going to get backstabbed, gossiped about, framed and what not, are you going to exercise your "freedom of speech" and curse them to a pulp? i think its time that students just move on with their lives regardless of the kind of treatment they get from their teachers.

Life is too short to bother ourselves with people who don't deserve our time (or saliva for that matter).

on the other hand, i do agree with some people who side with the first view.

i mean, SERIOUSLY.

are the comments of a bunch of teenagers going to ruin your life as a teacher?

HELLO...

wake up and SMELL the coffee people... teenagers are exactly what they are. TEENAGERS. who cares about what a teenager say??? its like an someone fussing over how their resident cockroach looks at them while they bake their cake.

are the comments of a bunch of hormone-charged teenagers going to affect your job prospect?

do we students pay school fees to get lynched?

as i posted before, why is it ok for teachers to treat students like dirt?

why is it ok for teachers to call students brats?

IS IT BECAUSE THEY ARE TEACHERS?

if teachers don't respect students, how can they, by virtue of COMMON SENSE, expect to be respected?

if teachers themselves don't conduct themselves in a manner that is befitting of respect, then they should not expect any at all. even if students do respect, its all a charade.

teachers SHOULD NOT expect to be respected just because they are teachers.

but anyhow, lets move on with our lives as students and accept the fact that the witchhunt will not end. the blog is not a place where one can rant about other people; never was and never will be.

and teachers should just stop being so petty and begin to act like the adults they are.

period.

Working Out - Volume 1

2005-09-27T21:28:00.000-07:00

Ok!

As most or maybe NONE of you may know, I’m into working out! To put it technically (and somewhat an exaggeration), its called bodybuilding. But I’m not into huge…big…bulky…lumbering freakish The-Hulk physique, but muscles nonetheless with a tad of self-control. Think Brad Pitt-ish body.

Anyways, a few weeks back, my classmate asked me to go post something on my blog about working out, so here I am.

Fact of the matter is, I don't think i can get ALL the details of working out in just one post, so it will span a few volumes. ;]

In volume 1 (which is this post), the things that will be covered include,

Identifying your body type
Diet
Supplements
Myths and legends

Now, lets get started on the FIRST volume.... but prior to that,

DISCLAIMER

This volume and the volumes you are about to read is based on my amateur knowledge of working out. These DO NOT guarantee that you will see exception results and the results WILL vary from between individuals. I will NOT be responsible for ANY mishap or accident if you choose to adopt any of the content in these volumes in your workout regime.

ok now stop laughing... I'm protecting myself ok...

ANYWAYS... Here comes the FIRST volume!

Volume 1

IDENTIFYING YOUR BODY TYPE

There are 3 body types for the male physique.

They are,

Ectopmorphs - ectomorphs are mainly the skinny people you see and envy somewhat. These people eat and eat and eat but they never seem to put on any weight. They typically have a small frame, that is to say, their body profile is narrow. They can be easily spotted owing to the fact that most ectomorphs have narrow shoulders.

The reason for thier ravenous appetite is because of their high metabolism. The energy from the food they eat is used up quickly, leading to a big appetite.

For ectomorphs, it is somewhat difficult for them to gain muscle. BUT HAVE NO FEAR!!! Just eat a LOT.

Mesomoprhs - these are the people that every gymmer hates. Not because they have bad gym etiquette, but for the fact that they gain muscles FAST. Just doing push-ups everyday for 2 weeks can spark muscle growth in them. They are the ones who are naturally fit, and are born with the ideal muscular structure and bone structure. They have naturally broad shoulders and in fact already possess a physique that is desirable prior to working out, although the latter is not true for all mesomorphs.

Mesomorphs generally are more blessed in the gym. However, that is not to say that mesomorphs will never go out of shape. Just as much as mesomorphs can gain muslces fast, they can also lose it fast. Thier metabolism is nowhere near an ectomorph's, thus they run the risk of packing on fats if they do not watch their diet and skive off exercising.

Thus, not every mesomorph is that muscular hunk, but they might very well be that inconsipcuous chubby individual downing a Big Mac.

P.S I'm a mesomoprh. :D

Endomorphs - endomorphs are, well, as you can guess, the fat people. They are the ones who gain weight the fastest and pack on fat the fastest. They are easily recognized by their large frame. Generally, endomorphs are chubby or obese. However, they are NOT the weakest link. Underneath all that fat is really hidden muscle. That explains why fat people seem to be stronger than muscle-bound guys.

The biggest challenge for endomorphs is to lose all that fat to expose the muscle beneath. While it might not be easy, it is definitely worth it. Endomorphs, like mesomorphs, gain muscle fast, but not as quickly as mesomorphs. Like mesomorphs, they must watch their diet closely and keep exercising regularly to maintain the ideal physique.

Mixed types - While most people are clearly one of the above body types, there is a possibility of mixed body types. They include ectomorph-mesomorph and mesomorph-endomorph. Ectomorph-mesomorph possesses certain physique characteristics of mesomorphs but their chemistry remains as ectomorphs. They have broad shoulders like mesomorphs but have the musculature of an ectomorph. Mesomorph-endomorph are rarer and are almost indistinguishable with endomorphs.

Now, after ALL that hoo-hah over bodytypes, the question is, WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

Click HERE to take the test.

DIET

Now that you found out your body type, the next important part is DIET.

Now, now... be patient... we'll get to weight lifting soon enough!!! fact of the matter is, DIET is actually 70% of working out. What you eat determines how fast you grow.

As common sense would dictate, if you want to gain muscle, you will need PROTEIN. It is the only class of nutrition that can be used to synthesize muscle. To determine how much protein you should take when working out, convert your body weight from kilograms into pounds (just take your weight and times it by 2.2). You should take 1 gram of protein per pound per day.

eg. my body weight is 65kg.

65 kg x 2.2 = 143 pounds.

i.e., I should be taking 143 grams of protein a day.

Most would have heard of the ATKINS diet, where the diet stresses on the complete elimination of carbohydrates, i.e., no rice, no bread etc. If you are working out and intend to follow this diet, DON'T. Carbohydrates are essential when working out as they are the immediate source of energy. If you deprive your body of carbohydrates, your body will draw its energy from protein or fats. The Atkins diet is crafted such that the body burns fat for energy. However, if your body feels that it needs more energy, it will draw energy from protein. It can either be drawn from your diet OR your muscles, of which the latter is exactly what we don't want to lose.

The best diet to follow based on books I read is in this ratio.

Carbohydrates - 30% to 40% Protein - 30% to 40% Fats - 25% to 30%

It is really difficult to get the ratio right, so just agga-agga when you have your meals. As for the fats, stay with GOOD fats, like FULLY saturated veggie oil, peanut butter, olive oil and what not. Fish oil is good. Don't worry too much about getting fats in your diet, for the fact there are mostly in your meals without you knowing it. Stay away from animal fats like chicken skin...pork fat etc.

As for carbohydrates, it doesn't just refer to rice or bread, but also fruits and veggies. Fruits and veggies are complex carbos, i.e., they take longer to digest. Take an equal proportion of simple carbs (rice and bread) and vegetables.

Most professionals will tell you to take 6 small meals a day. The reason behind this is to keep your metabolism running high throughout the day. So you lose weight while you eat! It sounds crazy, but its true. Personally, i don't take 6 meals a day cause i don't have the time (I'm a student..). But if you have a maid or a mom who doesn't mind cooking 6 times a day, then you can get them to do it for you. Each meal should be a fist-sized portion. Stick with the above ratio for guidance. They can come in the form of a sandwich or any other creative way you can imagine. Sandwichs are good cause you can prepare them at the start of the day and chuck it in you lunch box and eat it when its time.

The meal times are separated into breakfast, brunch (between lunch and breakfast), lunch, mid-day snack (between lunch and dinner), dinner and supper.

Diet is very important, so don't slack! Stay away from fried food or soft drinks. Junk food once in a while (in my opinion) is alright, but NEVER make it a weekly affair.

Supplements

Many people will tell you that supplements are not necessary. In a way, they are right. BUT, supplements give you what real food cannot - pure nutrition. Take protein shakes for example. While pure protein is better to consume, the quality of protein supplements far surpasses natural protein. In protein supplements, many other ingredients are added to better facilitate protein digestion and protein transport to the body.

Creatine, which is getting very popular among teens, serves to give you that extra-burst of energy and that pumped look. I won't go into the details of how creatine works, but i'll simply tell you that it has the effects of anabolic steriods, but it doesn't carry the side-effects of steroids. It's natural, cause creatine is also found in meats. But the occurence of natural creatine is too little to induce any change. Personally, i tried creatine before but it didn't really work THAT well for me. But the results vary so you can try it if you like.

A brand that you could start with is cell-tech. It's expensive, but it contains many other ingredients that encourages creatine absorption better than other brands.

Anabolic steroids are taken by the REALLY serious bodybuilders. I definitely don't suggest us teenage guys to take it for the fact that our testosterone levels are already sky-high. So just go without steroids and go natural.

At the end of the day, supplements DO NOT replace our diet. As the name implies, they are SUPPLEMENTS. they ADD ON to our diet. To be honest, sometimes, the body you want may not be acheivable through just natural diet. The bodybuilders you see out there take steroids to get to that size. But nevertheless, if creatine and steroids are out for you, then get protein supplements. They are safe to use and are definitely effective in helping you get your diet in the right proportion.

A brand I would reccomend is Designer Whey. I have been using it since the day i started working out, and i gained 7 kg in the past year. But feel free to try other brands. You can get the protein supplements and other supplements at GNC.

Myths and legends

Muscles turn to fat if you stop working out.

RUBBISH. the chemical structure of muscles and fats are TOTALLY different. the only reason your muscles disappear after you stop working out is because a layer of fat is covering the muscles and your body is breaking down the muscles cause you're not using them.

2. Just do 100+ sit ups to get that six pack

hello. doing 100+ sit ups a day causes your abs to grow (muscle growth). If there is a layer of fat covering your abs, no matter how many sit ups you do, you will NEVER get that six pack. what you need to do is to get rid of the fat to see the 6 pack.

3. The longer you spend your time in the gym, the more your muscles will grow.

Hardly. after an hour of working out, you body releases a muscle-destroying hormone called cortisol. so, the longer you work out after that 1 hr, the more muscle disappears. your work out should be 1hr 30 mins at the MAX. When you work out, you are actually injuring your muscles and causing little tears in your muscles. the whole idea of working out is to damage the muscle to INDUCE growth when you are recovering. the time your muscles are GROWING is NOT when your in the gym, but when you are SLEEPING - that's when you body repairs the muscles and releases growth hormones and cause your muscles to grow bigger.

4. Just go to the gym everday for the best results.

That depends on WHAT muscle groups you are working. if you are working the same ones everyday, how can your muscles rest and grow as i explained above? you are damaging them everyday without giving them chance to grow bigger! the fact is, after training a muscle e.g. chest, you should give it at least 72 hours of rest. Personally, i work out a different body part everyday, i.e, one muscle group is worked only once a week.

5. Just gym for a few weeks. You can see the results!

NO. working out requires PATIENCE and DETERMINATION and CONSISTENCY. you can have the best gym with the best equipment and have the best supplements, but if you are not CONSISTENT, its all pointless. working out is a LIFESTYLE. not a one time event. even after getting the body you want, you have to MAINTAIN it. but don't worry bout getting bored, cause once you start working out, you can't stop. ;) (trust me on this). DETERMINATION is very important. fact of the matter is, it might be months before you get the body you want. For some, its years. It has been a year since i started working out, and i still haven't acheived the body i really want. but be patient and just work towards it. If you just want to put in 50% of your effort in working out and expect a 200% return, you don't deserve the body you want. WORK FOR IT. that's why its called WORKING out.

NOW. the first volume is OVER. it's the longest of all the volumes i would think. :)

the basics are more important than the weight lifting, thats why i stressed a lot on KNOWING what body type you are and training right for it. DIET is important too and knowing the myths and debunking them is equally important.

The next volume will start on the basics of weight-lifting and the right form. till then, be patient.... :)

-_-

2005-09-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

ah.... 6 more weeks to my A levels... how exciting...

im sooooo going to pick up the pace.... and get my subjects nailed...

can you feel my anxiety? can you feeeel my fear....?

cause you see,

I"M HOPING THAT I DON"T GET BELOW STRAIGHT Bs.

ARRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.....

*hyperventilates*

haha. which reminds me of an incident that happened in SAS.

you see, when i was in secondary school, there was this emergency exercise thingy thing going on (supposedly an "explosion" went off in the school, throwing people into supreme -panic-. Psst! applies to teachers only.)

so, even the civil defence got involved, so we can see ambulances and fire engines rushing into the school compound. seriously it was pretty hysterical to see life-saving machines lumbering into the school carpark when there's no "emergency" in sight.

like HELLO... i can almost hear the firemen going,

"ooo woooow. the fire soooo big ah. aiyah....alamak...so hot..."
*said with the typical bo chap-ness and half open eyelids and fans himself in a gu niang manner*

and sadly, WE the SAS drama team just haaad to get involved in the exercise. apparently, we were the "facilitators" of the emergency thingy.

to put it simply, we were the bunch of over-reacting mites hopping about and pretending there was a REAL emergency. think guys lying alll over the floor....bleeding their guts out...being trapped under PAPER BOXES and acting as if kena pinned down by some monster cupboard...

and i had the ultimate misfortune of being involved in the above. i was stationed in the science lab and was lying face down with not 5, not 4, not 3, but TWO cardboard boxes on my back.

oh my. what a predicment.

and i was going, "help...help... heeeelllp...." and feeling sooooo retarded.

HA. and then, a teacher came along and tried to lift the "cupboard" off me. then he said after much grunting and groaning (i suppose from the effort of having to lift the "cupboard".), he said,

"ITS TOO HEAVY!"

(-_-")

let us observe a moment of silence.

IN THE NAME OF ALL THINGS LAME,

THAT WAS SOME -SERIOUS- overacting.

and there i was, on the ground, pinned down oh so pathetically under TWOOO cardboard boxes, am sio-ing (supressed giggle. how supressed can that get.).

and then, came along two firemen who looked like matchsticks (firemen are suppose to be big, hunky and burly guys in case YOU don't know) and showed sooo much effort trying to get it off me.

uh huh. -_-

and then, i was stretched down the building with my acting partner (who's suppose to act completely hysterical and "obstruct" my rescue as stated in his role report).

and i can vaguely hear students laughing and talking and STROLLING while the teacher shooed them along saying its an emergency. right.

hahahhaha... then, some teachers were given the role of acting too! some teachers act crazy... some act tooo calm.. some HYPERVENTILATE.

and this is the funniest part.

this female teacher was given the role of hyperventilating. then, being true to her role, she began to mock hyperventilation near the end of the emergency exercise for a while.

and she did the job very well. TOO well.

*excerpt*

hyperventilating teacher: "oh my *gasp* good - *gasp* - ness... what are *gasp* we *gasp* going to *gasp* do..."

2nd teacher: "don't worry! its going to be over. ok, now breathe with me... breathe ah.." *breathes in deep*

hyperventilating teacher: "o - *gasp* - k..." *tries miserably*

the emergency over and the acting can stop.

2nd teacher:"wah. that was tough man... ok. you can stop hyperventilating now."

hyperventilating teacher: " *gasp gasp gasp gasp GASPPPPP*

2nd teacher: " -_-. oi. over already lah. you can stop."

hyperventilating teacher: " *gasp gasp gasp* i *gasp* can't *gasp* stop *GASSSPPPP*....."

HAHAHAHHAAH.... it was absolutely hilarious when i was told about this. apparently, the teacher got a bit carried away and hyperventilated for real...

and then, just to back track a little bit, after i was brought down the building, they brought me to this room where all the "injured" people are. and so there i was, lying down... getting pinched by guys (at the wrist) and having my pulse felt.

and they kept doing the same thing over and over and over and asking me if the pinching hurt.

Duh.

so, i got sooo tired of moaning "yeessss..." as pathetically as possible so i just stopped answering them altogether.

and then, the guy who was checking me said to the teacher (who was the first-aid in charge for the emergency),

"Sir, he's not responding anymore leh..."

"That means he's dying." (might i add that he said it quite nonchalantly i.e. bo chap-ly)

(-_-)

*whispers to myself* or exceedingly annoyed with the same question.

AND THEN, i peeked open my eyes to see the fellow's reaction to the teacher's comment.

"sir, then how?"

"how? CPR lor."

oh... ho ho ho.... how about, No.

NO.

and the fellow was like, stoning for a milisecond.

*whispers to myself* don't even think about it boy....

and then, my turn to get on the ambulance came and i got in and dropped the acting to my immense relief.

it was the LONGEST and most draining performance EVER.

2005-09-18T19:20:00.000-07:00

Today I must post about my very unique visit to the doctor

in my neigbourhood.

Okay. let me start from the beginning.

a few days ago on a typical, albeit fun, friday (since my prelims officially ended on that day), when i was on my way home from a movie (the cave),

I suddenly felt a wave of pain at my right abdomen.

so back then, i thought it was just the onset of stomache, so i ignored the pain.

then lo and behold, when i got back home, not only did i NOT feel the urge to release the bombs, the pain persisted.

so i thought nothing of the pain and happily watched my cousin blow himself AND his enemies to pieces on my computer (he was staying over for the night.)

then, the next day, the pain STILL continued, but i didnt really think much of it, since it didnt really seem to be very serious. by then, i already had a slight fever and this really annoying train of mucus trying to take over my nose.

on sun, after a loong day a church and tuition, i suddenly realised that the PAIN WAS GETTING WORSE.

so i hopped onto the web, searching for this thing i suspected was causing all this pain.

APPENDICITIS.

and the horror.

i read all about the symptoms of appendicitis, and realised that it closely matched mine. *gasps*

so, i PRAYED. and i seeked God. and as usual, God told me to relax and stop worrying, and in fact was preparing me for this a few days before. i checked my journal and realised that the verses He showed me a few days before during my quiet time was about trials, and to hold on to God in the midst of this trials.

and so after an 1+ hour of QT, i went to bed.

and WA LAH! its today, on monday.

so i went to the doctor to get a thorough check up. and take my word for it. it was thorough.

when i first stepped into the room, i give a blow by blow account of the pain and yade yade and he listened.

then, after checking my temperature and probing my abdomen for the source of the pain (and it was darn painful

when he got the right spot. imagine taking a bullet in your gut and having some pig pressing that spot. Ouch.),

he dropped the bombshell on me.

"I need to check your rectum. Could you please lie down on your left side?"

(-_-'')

as you can rightly imagine, i was STUNNED for like, a few milliseconds.

WHAT THE HELL?? i was going to have my ass probed?!??! being the bio student that i was, i knew what "I need to check your rectum" really means.

to put it in simple terms, it means...

"I need to stick a finger up your ass."

and so, being the brave fellow that i am, i obeyed him and lay on my side with my shorts down to my knees. then i saw him taking a tube of KY jelly lubricant (mostly used for SEX.) and smmmearing his middle finger with it.

just as he was about to stick his finger in my forbidden orifice a.k.a my virgin asshole (of which will FOREVER be virgin), he told me to relax.

then he slowly and quite torturously stuck his finger in.

it felt funny though. at that point in time, i wondered how homos could take a dick up their ass and feel fine.

thankfully, i knew that flexing my sphincter muscles (my asshole muscles) would just make the experience painful, so i had to relax and pretend i was used to getting my ass probed.

then he poked around inside of me. by then, i was feeling oh so -_-.

in fact, im seriously thankful he didnt go further inside, cus any further probing deeper in my ass would give me a RAGING hard on (an erection), since the male g-spot was the prostate gland inside my ass.

and me at full mast would be HIGHLY embarrasing for both the prober and the probed.

then, after the brief probing session, he was done and proceeded to perform a urine test.

after all the hoo hah and what not, he finally concluded (to my very happy self)

"I doubt it is appendicitis."

YAY. but then again, he said that if the pain persisted after 2 days and the fever is still around, i have to see him again. by then, i hope he doesnt feel the need to probe my ass again and this time finger my prostate. yeow.

:D

2005-09-18T04:08:00.001-07:00

prelims. are. over.

a levels. are. coming.

and im typing this for the 4th darn time because my internet browser (or more accurately my WHOLE idiot computer) is messed up.

anyways, the sadness.....

prelims are over, and i think im going to fail maths (of which i have never failed to do so - pun so intended).

and as for chemistry, its hanging by a gossamer thread at best.

ah well. and so to console my very sad self, i got myself a new pair of swimming trunks! my previous pair looks like it died. :(

and my new pair looks nice and bright! and its not gay! and you bloody well agree with me! lest i bash your face in! :D

its actually the same colour as my zen micro!

im in love with seriously bright and screaming colours. as you can see, that neon orange is really my bedsheet. ;)

so when i went to arena to search for my trunks, i came across this RIOT of colours. and like moth to light... i deeevoured....

there was grey....carribean blue...yellow...red (im still trying to muster the courage to wear it)... brown... jungle green... and purple.

now if you think tt the colour that i chose above is gay, rejoice that i didnt go with purple. ha.

heh heh... speeaking of colours, lets go to the world of haute couture (its pronounced oat koo-ture) and fashion! actually haute couture is high fashion lah...

so, now its time for me to RANT. about GIRLS. who dress like THIS.

ultra short skirts, and ultra loooow cut.

?

is that suppose to be FASHION?

is that suppose to be cool, or hip, or stylish?

well, i say, its NOT cool, its NOT hip, and its NOT stylish.

its downright degrading to dress like the above.

and then i can hear some girls going...

"but its MY style what... its MY way of EXPRESSING myself... isn't that what fashion is all about? EXPRESSING yourself through the way you dress?"

in fact, the above is right. fashion is indeed self expression.

so are you telling me that you girls want to express youselves as prostitutes?

if the above is not true,

then what are you trying to "express" with low cut tops and ultra short skirts?

not all guys like seeing girls in ultra short skirts. to be honest, there are girls out there who try to attract guys with their mini skirts and non-existent tops. if that guy can be attracted to you by such dressings, then he isnt really a guy to go out with in the first place.

girls can also be stylish and sophisticated with REAL skirts and proper tops.

look FEMININE girls... not SLUTTY.

(to prevent any potential lawsuit cases, everything i said is my OPINION. not the truth. :) )

my favourite

2005-09-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

Praise the LORD , O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

Praise the LORD , O my soul, and forget not all his benefits -

who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses, his deeds to the people of Israel:

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.

He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever;

he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field;

the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more.

But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD's love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children-

with those who keep his covenant and remember to obey his precepts.

The LORD has established his throne in heaven, and his kingdom rules over all.

Praise the LORD , you his angels, you mighty ones who do his bidding, who obey his word.

Praise the LORD , all his heavenly hosts, you his servants who do his will.

Praise the LORD , all his works everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the LORD , O my soul.

~Psalm 103~

prelims are evil.

2005-09-05T19:36:00.000-07:00

Prelims are evil.

yes they are. seriously evil.

so are the A levels. they were designed to take me away from God. >:( and all who try to control my time with God deserves a FIVE FOLD MINISTRY. a.k.a one big TIGHT slap.

aanyways.... i must rant and gripe again.

why?

why is it that it seems so hard to find Christians that don't life a double life?

why is it so hard to find a Christian who never stops expounding how great God's love is?

why is it so hard to find a Christian who has the fire of evangelism in their hearts?

Why?

firstly, evangelism is NOT and i repeat, NOT a choice. its a responsibility and a task given to us by Jesus Himself. in fact, it was the very LAST thing He said to the apostles, the very Last assignment He gave.

so many Christians say and pray, "God, show me your glory. Bless me! me me me me me and me! (occassionally my Christian friends)"

when will they begin to realise its not about US, its about THEM? those who don't know God? sure. evangelism is NOT easy. but it is trusting in God that He will lead us.

and it is only in evangelism and intercession that we truly see God's glory.

so many Christian's out there live worldly lives. they attend Christian conferences like Festival of Praise as if its just a Christian rock concert. they get all revved up by the hype. they say "Jesus is good!"

but when you look at their lives, you wouldn't even know that they are Christian unless they tell you.

so many Christians out there hurl vulgarities, get involved in BGR at a really young age, backstab and bitch about other people, hate fellow Christians, bear grudges and unfairly judge other people when they themselves are guilty of the same things... the list goes ooooon...

don't they realise that all that is wrong?

"I urge you brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer up your bodies as living sacrifices - holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the ways of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you can test and approve of God's will - his good, pleasing and perfect will."
(Romans 12:1-2)

need more Scriptural proof?

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
(Colossians 3:1-15)

there are so many more Scriptural evidence for holy living. but this one is more than enough to proof all that im trying to say.

many people say its impossible. its too EXTREME.

i say,

its NOT too extreme. i know of countless Christian's who have succeeded. if Jesus could do it, if Paul could do it, if I can do it, why can't you?

it doesn't take an immense effort from yourselves. if we try to do it by our own strength, OF COURSE its impossible. EVERYTHING is impossible if we do it by our own strength.

but by the Grace of God and His Spirit, nothing is too hard for Him.

today, i cannot stand the sound of a vulgarity. today, i loathe all those kinds of conversations that seek to tear others down. today, i walk away from sexually implicit jokes.

Why?

because Jesus would not condone all of the above. and if Jesus wouldn;t condone them, how much less should i as his servant and imitator?

its not too extreme. extreme is just a word used by Christians who don't even try. its a word used by Christians who just want God's blessings and mercy minus the price tag that comes along with it.

they want the blessings of the world (secular music which is tainted - sex, lies, drugs-, violence, vulgarities, fornication, sexual immorality, lust, hate, slander, malice etc.) and the blessings of God (love, salvation etc.).

but we can't have both. its either God, or the world.

so make your choice today. God or the world?

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

2005-08-31T08:26:00.000-07:00

When im alone the world is such a different place

Sometimes its hard to keep the smile upon my face

It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down

Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down

When all I know falls to the ground

When darkness comes and I can't see

You're always there to rescue me

Just when I think that Ive got it figured out

You open my eyes and let me see that theres no doubt

But you've got it all within the power of your hand

It seems like the more I know the less I understand

When everyting starts crashing down

When all I know falls to the ground

When darkness comes and I can't see

You're always there to rescue me

When all my strength has turned to fear

When I wonder if you're near

When I dont know how to break free

You're always there to rescue me

I wonder if Ill make it through this darkest night

I need to know your strength in me gonna win this fight

Im reaching out wont you take my hand show me to the light

I know you're by my side

It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down

Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down

When all I know falls to the ground

When darkness comes and I can't see

You're always there to rescue me

When all my strength has turned to fear

When I wonder if you're near

When I dont know how to break free

You're always there to rescue me

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

one of my favourite songs.

ever.

it speaks of my mood now.

doesn't really take much of a nerdball to figure out my mood.

my greatest fear, on this doomed ball of a planet

is that one day, i walk away from my God.

that one day, where the sins of Man no longer irks me,

when my heart grows cold to the touch of the one of this world,

when my mind caves in on itself and sees only what my eyes tell me,

when my soul dies to the voice of God.

and my fears are not unfounded.

They are very real.

They can happen.

And they will happen,

If i stop seeking God.

so therefore, do pray for me.

when God gave me the vision of the thousand white stairs,

i knew the road wouldn't be easy,

i knew the struggles would just increase,

i knew that Jesus would always be there to carry me should i stumble,

but sometimes, i wonder if He's there.

sometimes.

"God, I don't have the time!"

2005-08-22T08:50:00.000-07:00

"Dear God in Heaven Above,

I have been so busy lately! First is my PSLE, which i must score 260+++! so God, forgive me for not spending time with you, but my studies are so important.

--------------------

God, I have got good news! i scored 287 for my PSLE! now, i got O levels to worry about. God, forgive me, but the O levels is the most important exam in my life. I have to get it right! I just don't have time for you God.

Oh, and also, i got a girlfriend! she's the fifth one so far and i love her very much! but then, she can get a little bit petty, and wants me to go Orchard with her every saturday and sunday so that she can hao lian me to her friends. i'm sorry God but i just don't have time for You now. but i will after my O levels!

--------------------

God, its my A levels now, and junior college life is so stressful! i have my CCA and academics to excel in. God, i need to do well to get my scholarship! I promise that i will spend time with you after my A levels alright?

Oh ya!! i got a girlfriend! she's the eighth one now, and i love her very very much!

--------------------

God, i'm in army now. i got to spend time hanging out with my bunkmates! they are such a cool bunch of people!! they speak hokkien and shout out expletives and it sounds so cool! i'm sorry God, but i have to get to know them if not i'll be very lonely in camp!

I also met this very nice girl in a pub yesterday!

--------------------

God, im married now with three kids. i'm so busy taking care of them and my wife. i really really can't spend time with you. i got to feed the family!

--------------------

God, my children have all grown up. my wife is old like me now, both of us retired. now i have time for you God.

God, who are You? i don't have the strength to run after You anymore. My heart is weak, in flesh and in spirit. i am old, ready to die, ready to move on. but Lord, i do not know You.

My PSLE, my scholarship, my O levels, my A levels, my relationships, my achievements, my failures, my ALL. they were...for nothing. i gained nothing at all.

LORD! Where are You? Who are You?

Please. Answer my call...

Yours Truly."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just so you know, all the above was FICTIONAL

any resemblence to anyone dead OR alive is PURELY coincidental.

the little monologue, is an exact replica of the kind of life that we lead. a life that seems so meaningful on the surface.

a life that seems so exciting, so fulfilling.

but in reality, at the end of our lives, when we look back, its all for NOTHING

that posh car, that Hugo Boss suit, that swanky condo, that oh-so-delicious foie gras.

we think that we have it all. that we're there, as if we reached a certain echelon in the world and that we achieved something.

Have we?

just what have we gained? sure.. we get the pleasures of life. custom cars, million bucks, hot chicks.

but at the end of our days, when we look back, will we say,

"Good job man. You enjoyed life."

or will we actually say,

"I got all the money i dreamed of. I got all the cars i coveted. I got all the houses i imagined. i have everything. but yet, i have nothing. i have all the things that can been seen, yet my heart feels so empty. just what, did i do with my life?"

that is exactly the question.

Just what are YOU doing with YOUR life?

there has got to be more than the cars, the cash and the condos.

there has got to be more than the women, the glory and the fame.

there has got to be more.

and that can be found, in the days of your YOUTH.

King Solomon, was a man, who earned well beyond the GDP of America in his days. He had thousands of wives. He had fame in all the world for his wisdom. He had wisdom beyond the possibility of a normal man because God gave him so.

and for this man, to have everything, at the end of his days, said,

"Chase after the Lord, in the days of your youth."

it saddens me to see, so many christian youths of today, looking at the temporary highs.

girlfriends, clubbing and video games.

then when the time comes for them to have a family, their spiritual life fades away, all because they never seeked God in the days of their youth, and in doing so built their Christian foundation on sand instead of stone.

I challenge you Christian readers.

CHASE AFTER THE LORD. not this world or girls or boys. not plastic surgery or clubbing.

SEEK HIS FACE. for He is our exceedingly great reward.

don't wait, until the end of your days, when you look back only to find that your entire life has been for nothing, when you could have done great and mighty things for God.

-_-

2005-08-17T00:19:00.000-07:00

Who is reading MY blog now?

that is the question that just blazed across my mind.

just 2 days ago, 4 girls were called to see the principal during assembly.

for what you ask?

Making "disparaging remarks" on their blogs.

about who you ask?

Someone.
whom i know but i will not care to mention

their fate is uncertain at best, though i would say it won't be too pleasant, neither will it be exceedingly catastrophic.

and how were their blogs found?

By SAJC IT Staff.

yup. you read it right.

SAJC IT staff.

sometimes, i wonder, if these people go on some RANDOM witchhunt in hopes of catching someone red-handed and lynching them in front of the whole school.

are they so free? don't they have better things to do? like improving on the quality of lectures rather than scouring the Internet for blogs with "disparaging remarks".

its funny how they can call up students who suan teachers over the web, yet turn a blind eye when students make "disparaging remarks" about fellow students.

Selective punishment?
It REEKS of it.

honestly. why can't the Staff spend more time and effort on other things in the school that require MORE attention? like the poor grades of students for starters.
*whispers* this doesn't take a supercomputer to figure out...

If the school is really concerned about students defaming other people, then they would call up students who make "disparaging remarks" about other students rather than just teachers. but a less-than-superficial glance at the present situation speaks otherwise.

frankly, are YOU telling me that students make "disparaging remarks" ONLY about teachers?

What a joke.
albeit it's as funny as a funeral.

somehow, i cannot help but smell HYPOCRISY in the air.

so yes. right now, this very moment, SAJC IT Staff might very well be reading it. but honestly, i wouldn't bat an eyelid even if they did.

for the simple fact no "disparaging remarks" were made. :]

so therefore, to ALL bloggers out there, the best thing to do is to use a PSEUDONYM i.e. a fake identity.

and also, if you really really REALLY need to let the WHOLE world know that you are suaning someone, then don't mention NAMES.

substitute the names with Mr. X or something (even your friends.) and of course, get ur friends to link you by your pseudonym.

but the simplest of all is this. LOCK YOUR BLOGS.

2005-08-06T07:46:00.000-07:00

Today I shall post about THE most retarded things
guys do when they are alone with other guys.
*whispers*this sounds awfully wrong...

today i ponned chemistry lecture.

yup. i walked into the lecture theatre with rajiv and noel only to find them revising

CHEMICAL EQUILIBRIA

it sounds awfully pompous doesn't it? ANYWAYS, our dear chemistry tutor already covered this topic light years ahead of the general chemistry community

so we decided against going for the lecture.

I mean, why convert oxygen into carbon dioxide in a lecture theatre when you can do all that and more in some nondescript classroom? WHY??
psst! what's the difference?

***CLUELESS FACE***

anyways, we made our way to some forsaken classroom on the 3rd floor at the B block where even cockroaches would rather go somewhere else and horrify the daylights out of some unsuspecting girl.

and in there, we did some of the most, or perhaps THE most INANE things a guy can do.

doodle.

yup. doodle on the whiteboard and laughing till we drool like some half-wit. we decided to spend our time associating people we know with ANIMALS (no offence to anyone :]) and draw them at the same time.

well, Mother Nature got off the wrong side of the bed this morning.

we began with yours truly. apparent, our two artists thought it quite accurately depicted me!

I think not. to put it simply, i looked as handsome as a tree branch. flattering.

next, we have...

HAHA! as you can see, Mother Nature was in a baaaad mood... and she decided to come up with this androgynous creature of a freektard, with loops no less inspired from some obscure Thai tribe.

after which, we relived our little childhood fantasies with...

over here, we have a dinosaur with a funnel over his mouth! Mother Nature just had to muffle something... (this drawing refers to a certain individual we know, although i won't mention who!)

next, we have a little contribution to this year's NDP!

ok now we're just being MEAN.... in case you haven't noticed, its actually someone's HAIR. but as for who's, well, its for me to know, and for YOU to find out!

:]

haha! Mother Nature wouldn't be fair if she hadn't done something to our dear artists. so therefore, let me traumatise you with the first one!

to be honest, he looks like he was beaten with an ugly stick when he was growing up. ;)

next, we have a freak of nature! oh come on now...Mother Nature is not happy.

well, as you can see, its -suppose- to be a panda. but it seems to be suffering from serious bout of cancer. talk bout chemotheraphy gone wrong. -_- and Mother nature just couldn't resist and threw in french fries for good measure

and of course, an aw bak kak i.e., a black eye.

as you can see from here, guys alone in the same room just manage to amuse themselves to no end with just a marker and a whiteboard. and perhaps the occasional OHP to destroy! ;)

(T_T)

2005-08-04T02:41:00.000-07:00

the weather is great for any other day,
but its terrible for a tan.

rain. rain. rain.

i seriously need to get down to some serious discipline or i'm seriously going to fail my exams seriously.

this shit is NOT bananas cus bananas are yellow and yellow is an ugly colour.

haha... i like that line alot. :D

-__-

2005-08-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

testing html..

WOOPEE!

it works!

anyways...

my life now consists of things like these.....

and these horrible things...

yesh.
so life is pretty monotonous right now.

i practically barely have the time to blog lah... life is evil right now. n so is mr. s. a. tan.

GO AWAY YOU PIG.

>:(

2005-08-03T02:58:00.000-07:00

maths test today was close to being a DISASTER

and it sucks real bad that blogspot post creating toolbox just went haywire. so now all the font sizes must b changed

MANUALLY

i.e., all the different sizes you are seeing (if you see any at all) the result of a few seconds of hard squinting and keying in of html codes.

as if my life isn't bad enough.

and i can't add pictures!

the HORROR

blogspot better fix this FAST or i won't be blogging anytime soon.

>:(

:D

2005-08-02T07:39:00.000-07:00

OH YAY!

i finally change my blog layout!
apparently the previous one made a few people a tad claustrophic,
so i decided to go for something a little bit bigger.

and its BLACK.

ah well. no time to blog liao... must do QT.

and is it me or does my picture look strangely retarded...?

-____-

2005-07-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

oh dear. i just realised i haven't been blogging in a loooong time. and my taggy iss a tad bit quiet. now i resort to blogging in the school library. how unglam. uh huh.
and rajiv is annoying me right now. HAHA. i should be in the auidtorium drowning in air listening to mrs ang on the menstrual cycle, but as any intellectually normal human being can tell, im PONNING. bio is nooot the most exciting topic in the world you know.

to make things better, i got 3 Os n 1 F for block test 2.

--________--''

now THAT is pathetic. to make things eeeven better, i studied the hardest for bio to get an O. an O. ah. the ironnies of our lives. i wonder what is going to happen to my prelims. haven't been mugging as much as i would like to. nooooo... i need discipline....... and rajiv offered to send me some prelim papers he somehow managed to procure from some obscure corner of the school webby. how nice.

rapture is tomorrow. hm, i would say the dancers are in kallang thearte now.... i tell you, bumping in is the most hectic day preceding the performance itself. thats when you get used to the sheer size of the stage, the lights, the vibes AND the nerves. back in the days when i was still in drama, as much as the bump-in week is the most hectic, its actually is the best time of alll the loong months spent preparing for the production. yup. the adrenaline rush you get when you get on stage, seeing all the people cheering you on...laughing at some joke that's just about as funny as a funeral. *shrugs*

ah well. life must go on....

~Life is like a stage. The people around you are your fellow actors, actresses and audience, and God sits in the seats watching you on stage, laughing with you as you rejoice, crying with you as you grieve, cheering you on when you falter in your lines. From where your fellow actors stand, they see you for what you make yourself to be. From where God stands, He sees you for who you are.~ Chua Chim Keng

revival.

2005-07-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

revival. we always hear so many christians asking for revival. praying for revival. but yet, what sets me thinking is this. how hungry are we for revival? we always ask for revival, we always ask for a harvest right before an evangelistic event, yet on any other day, we never cry out to God. we are instead so caught up in our own salvation, our own spiritual lives, so much so we're more interested in edifying ourselves than others. whenever the word "evangelistic" is mentioned, i can almost see the grimace on the face of christians. why are we so afraid of proclaiming our faith? why are we so ashamed of winning souls for God? why are we so reluctant to bring back the lost sheep who are hell-bound? is our face worth more than the souls of the ones we love and care for? why on earth do we fear rejection? did Jesus give us the Great Commission - the preaching of the Gospel- only to fail? or did He give it to us that we may bring back the ones that has gone astray?

its time to WAKE UP to the realities of being a christian. its time that we get out of our comfort zone and take back the land that God once possessed. its time that we blow the trumpet of God and raise the banner of Christ and claim the souls that the devil has stolen. its time that we as the chosen ones of this lost generation RISE UP and BREAK OUT of our comfort zone. its time for us to look BEYOND our calvary and our salvation and BRING salvation to the ones who does not have it yet. WAKE UP, brothers and sisters in Christ. God did not save us that we may worship Him and praise Him, but that we may bring back His people to Him. only then we worship and praise Him with all of our heart, all of our strength, all of our soul and with all of our mind, for all the great things that He has done in empowering us to bring in the harvest of lost souls.

many a times i hear so many christians asking for revival, yet i hear no desperation, i see no hunger. perhaps there is a hunger,and i could be wrong. yet i do not hear of the desperation of the christian community in sajc. i see nothing being done. there are prayer meets, there is the asking for revival, but where is the hunger? God gives revival by how hungry we are, how desperate we are. is sajc desperate? is sajc hungry? its time for some serious praying. its time for some serious desperation. my church reaped the harvest, yet not because we were special, but because we were HUNGRY. DESPERATE. we cried out to God to give us the nation, to give us this generation. no eye was dry, no spirit was left untouched. our hearts burned with the need to save the lost.

the harvest we reaped was because of our DESPERATION. we prayed almost everyday leading to the Night of Fire, we cried out and screamed,

"GOD! Give us Singapore or we die!"

its time for such a cry once more. CRY OUT TO GOD, SAJC.

2005-07-10T03:39:00.000-07:00

forgive me my sin Father. so many times i fall into this trap, and i do so knowingly. so often my heart becomes harden to Your Spirit, and i allow the enemy to condemn me. forgive me O the Lord of my soul. forgive me for my sin, this sin that i keep commiting against You. i try to fight it, but it always prevails. is it because of some parts of my life i must change? yet it is so difficult. forgive me my Lord, although You have forgiven me so many times already. God, take away the shame, the guilt and the self-condemnation that breeds in my heart like a plague. forgive me my foolishness. i receive Your love, yet i fear i take advantage of it. help me to master the flesh, Father, that i may glorify Your name. forgive me my stumblings, forgive me my stubborness. let me look forward to Your future for me, and turn my eyes from the past. let me fear it no more, and in doing so i may see the pits before me, and soar above them on eagle's wings.

Amen.

beautiful isnt it? haha. my first impression was that Jesus was coming down already! haha... here's another one..

yup. at least now we would have an idea what it would look like when Jesus returns!!

........

2005-07-07T05:44:00.000-07:00

prelims is just 8 weeks away. 8 weeks = 2 months. 2 months to revise 2 years worth of work. 2 months to revise the eeevil jc syllabus. and i just got back my maths and physics paper. disaster i tell you. especially maths. got tuition, still can fail. (T_T). if my mom hears about im going to spend the rest of my life eating grass like some forsaken, barren, un-milkable cow. ok. now THAT just sounded sooo wrong. ANYWAYS.

i just watched a rrrreeaaaalllllly beeeauuutiful dance. click HERE to watch it. its simply tooo beaaautiful. when click on the link, scroll down all the way and click on the video "Passage".

yes. life is baaaaad. i cannot imagine for the live of me, pia-ing like siao for prelims. eeks. argh. ho. blueah.

.

2005-07-05T05:42:00.000-07:00

"God. is it me? is it the way i speak? is it what i do? where did i go wrong? i tried. so hard. i tried so hard to change and i did. yet nothing seems to change. she seems to just see what she wants to see. she hears what she wants to hear, says what she wants to say. shes so blinded by this world, that she trusts in the power of the world than Your ability. i try to talk to her, i try to tell her how to free herself, yet she tells me to not call her mother and go to You instead. it cuts my heart to hear that from her. GOD. im trying all i can to save this family. yet everytime we seem so close, Your fallen one comes and ruin it. im so tired. i just want to give up. everytime this happens i feel so afraid her heart will harden. i feel so afraid that she will despise You. i done all that i can. i said all i can. my greatest fear came to pass. God. just carry me now. i cant walk anymore."

:) :( :) :(

2005-07-03T05:48:00.000-07:00

i is back. from a day at church and shopping with my mum. why on earth is everyone SO shocked and impressed that an 18 year old guy like me goes out with my parents??? alright. fine. call me obiang or unglam, but i love my parents ok... although i admit that i don't always exhibit that love, i do... ha. typical syndrome of many sons out there. anyways, i receive some bewildered looks from strangers whenever i go orchard road with my mum. i hope they are not thinking that im her social escort or something. :S.

aaanyways....my mom jus accepted the Lord today. while people are congratulating me, im afraid. afraid that it will not last. afraid that she'll go back to her pagan ways. afraid that for the sake of not creating any quarrels that she will sacrifice her salvation for a compromise. hai... a part of me sings with joy, yet another part broods in silence. yes. i need your prayers. well, the good thing is that my mom is being discipled by sister cindy. and my dad is the next target... he doesnt want to be a christian not because he hates christianity or anything. he made a promise to my grandma, that he will continue the thingy bout ancestral praying. the irony of it all is tt both my grandparents accepted the Lord before they passed away. hai... i think he needs to be spoken to...

this salvation in my family is so fragile. and i feel so frustrated, i want to scream. just holler to yonder land. Arrr....

(T_T)

2005-06-30T07:12:00.000-07:00

do you know how to spell disaster?

C-H-E-M-I-S-T-R-Y

yes. that was what it was. a Disaster with the big D. can you imagine studying allll the crap, and shoving into that brain, only to find that on the day you do the exam, the info jus won't come out? -_____- its like constipation. but only worse. and the worst of is, it was the LAST important paper. and if there's anything i hate more, is ending an exam with a baaad paper. it leaves a REALLY bad taste in my mouth. hai... c'est la vie...

well. if it's any consolation, im free tomorrow, on sat, and on sun. and i got to go for this pilot selection test on monday which is 5 hrs long. yup. FIVE. the number of fingers you would usually have on your hand. apparently, the possiblity of me passing the test(as it also is with many people) is as remote as getting murdered by a cardboard roll falling from the 11th storey of some obscure HDB block. yup. but i will just take the test. whoooo knows.. i might get to become a pilot. and if i fail the test, i will most probably get a letter from the commandos.

-_____________________________-

as much as i don't really mind pushing myself to see how far i can go, the commando training is really NOT something everyone can tahan. can you imagine, during a lecture break, everyone, all 150 soldiers, are given a grand total of THREE minutes to empty their bladder? at the same time? in ONE toilet? yup. a friend told me one urinal MUST be shared by THREE human beings. and the shy one usually can't get the golden juice out. o.0

moooving on...if i ever look back on my academic life, i will HATE jc life the most. seriously speaking, if you can survive jc, you most probably can survive anything. but if you ask me to look back spiritually, i must say i truly found God in jc. ah. how..ironic.

(T_T)

2005-06-29T04:04:00.000-07:00

this cannot go on. i cannot continue to fail my tests. if i do i will DIE for my As. physics and bio and maths are over, and i seriously hope i dont fail maths. and bio. since bio is the subject i spent the most time on and i practically made a major mess out of my essay questions. ah. the ironies of our lives. in fact i spent so much time on bio that i completely neglected phy. it was 1 week before the exam when i tried to recall what i had studied for phy, but i couldnt. it was in the next few moments of feeling like this (-_-'') that i realised that i COMPLETELY forgot about phy because i had spent so much time on bio. if i fail the bio paper, im going on a STRIKE.

anyways, it seems i have a j4 dance senior by the name of Evelyn. haha... well, Evelyn, if you are reading this, i have completely no idea who you are!! haha... no offence meant though... well, after reading her entry at my tag board, it confirmed God's calling! that i was not the only person in the little red pimple of the world that God has called out of secular dance. hai... sometimes its so disheartening and difficult to try to tell others about secularism and God's standard.

people always say:" its impossible lah...what rubbish...how to live like that?!??! its too EXTREME..." yep. thats what they alllways say. but at the end of the day, its God's standard: no secular music, no secular dance...nothing secular. its a fine line to draw, and sometimes people who disagree with this will take it entirely out of context and say things like:"secular? then is eating secular? then dont eat lah! depend on God lah! He will give you food what...(trying to suan me)" now that is stupid. God gave Man common sense, people. use it.

in a nutshell, its being holy.

But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do (1 Peter 1:15)

"Be holy, because I am holy."(Lev. 11:44,45; 19:2; 20:7)

yup. its not too extreme. people who say its "too extreme" just want to have one foot in the world and one foot in God.

"No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money."(Matthew 6:24)

although it says money here, the verse is not speaking exclusively on money. the first line of the verse clearly states it. some people say:"so long as i dont worship the music, its ok!" no its not. can u imagine Jesus listening to secular music-songs about drugs,adulterous love, and above all, sex-, then singing songs of worship to God next? can you imagine Jesus going to a temple of God in one moment then proceed on to a pub after that?

"Everything is permissible" - but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible" - but not everything is constructive.(1 Corinthians 10:23)

in fact, some people say that the Bible never said anything about ponography and masturbation, so they are fine. in fact they are NOT fine. further studying of the Scripture will reveal that both are sins of lust. the Bible doesnt say anything about pink dolphins and giraffes. so they don't exist? think again... in all cases, you dont even need the Scripture to affirm what is right or wrong. the conviction of the Holy Spirit itself is enough. i used to think that masturbation was alright and not a sin, until one day the Holy Spirit convicted me and revealed to me that it was a sin of lust and selfish sex. i didnt even need to read the Bible to learn that it was a sin.

if u dont feel any conviction in your spiritual life pertaining to the things that are obviously not right with God, then something is seriously wrong. its amazing how some people can serve in the worship ministry and yet listen to secular songs about sex and puppy love. this Christian generation needs a REVIVAL in their spiritual lives... its saddening to see even Christians caught in the devil's trap...

as Pastor Ben said, "Sadden my heart that they claimed to be Christians but without good foundations. Another tactic of the devil, you can go to church all you want but just dun get too serious with God."

hai...

-

2005-06-23T20:10:00.000-07:00

well. i didnt expect it to be easy. and it wasnt. well, Mr. Drug Dealer n 'god', it doesnt matter what you say. i still love both of you! :D some people thinks it makes no sense; my desicion. they feel that my obeying God and leaving dance at this time is irresponsible. which i wont deny. it IS irresponsible. but ultimately, my responsibility and accountability is to God first and foremost. some people say that God would never advocate inconveniencing others. well, before you say that, read the following verses.

The Calling of the First Disciples

18As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." 20At once they left their nets and followed him. 21Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. (Matthew 4:18-22)

when Jesus called for James and John, they left -immediately-. leaving behind their father to fish by himself. responsibility? of course they had a responsibility to their father, but ultimately, their responsibility was to being a disciple of Christ. another verse.

The Cost of Following Jesus

18When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. 19Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." 20Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." 21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." 22But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." (Matthew 8:18-22)

that disciple had a very big responsibility to bury his father. but yet, the Lord called for him to leave the burial to others and follow Him.

My actions are not based on my own heart. my actions are based on prayer and on God's Word. some people think that i am doing this by my own desire and using God as a cover. well, im not.
well, if u wana hear the response to my desicion from another point of view entirely, click here. It leads to my church forum.

~Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galations 1:10~

responses responses

2005-06-22T19:57:00.000-07:00

well, some answers to the questions that people from dance might have and clearing up of misunderstanding.

to weiliang: yes, God did speak to me... i am not saying that im walking away from dance FOREVER. i will continue to dance, but not in secular dance. the kind of dance that i will do is christian dance, dance that is praise and worship to God. i understand that my pulling out of rapture will create problems for the society and i am truly sorry for it, but if God called for me to leave then i have to follow. in the book of Genesis Abraham was also called to leave his homeland for the land of Canaan. God inconvinienced Abraham and of the people that followed him. as much as it isnt right to inconvinience others, God's calling is above all. and i did not misinterpret God. i have prayed about this and spoke to God about it. im not in the business of misinterpreting God for my own ends or using His name to protect myself. i hope you can understand...

:(

2005-06-22T06:53:00.000-07:00

yes. i did something that wasn't easy at all. to announce my pulling out of Rapture in the dance blog. i'm either expecting my tag board to flood, my mail box to burst from all the hate mail, or just silence. hai... it isn't easy making your stand for God. i noe some people are going to ask, "how you know its God? who you think you are that God will speak to you until liddat? who are you trying to fool? how dare you use God as your cover!"

well, God be my witness... on top of that, i got Mrs Chia to deal with. hai... and the tickets. she'll most probably want ALL the tickets back. i already got orders, but i can only get the cash on monday. or tuesday. hai ya... will leave it in God's hand once more....

:D

2005-06-18T07:59:00.000-07:00

woopee! i finally managed to get a tan. ha. happily baked myself under the sun. and i think i'm a tad burnt. ah well. you can imagine how -_- i felt when people say i don't really look much darker. yup. oh yes, i saw this guy wear PINK trunks. yup. PINK, as in neon. ha. but his saving grace was that he has a physique that im still working towards. yup. so i salute him for his incredible boldness. and to think just a few years back, guys wearing RED trunks were thought of as incredibly bold and insane to say the least. alright FINE. some say gay. ah well. to each his own.

today's sermon was very good i feel. answered questions i had about guidance in the Spirit and how to listen to God. although we were missing 20 odd people to a mission trip in M'sia, there didn't seem to be very much gone. nevertheless, the story Rev Abel Thomas told us at the end of the service was so convicting. just at the middle of the story, i was already convicted. so let me share with you the story with a bit of narrative aspects to it....

"As the master potter walked into the room, he noticed 3 wet lumps of clay lying on his workbench, each waiting to be moulded into a beautiful piece of art. The potter then sat himself down in front of the 1st lump of clay, and began to mould it. But before he could even set his hands on it, the lump of clay said,

"And just WHAT do you *think* you are doing?"

"Why, I'm the potter, and I'm going to mould you!" the potter replied, somewhat bewildered that the clay actually spoke out in such a manner.

"Well, -thank you- for your meddlesome kindness, but I think I like myself the way I am. So leave me alone to MYSELF."

"But I have such great plans for you! Such great visions of you as a beautiful vase decorating the home of the most famous of men!"

"Well, in case if you don't understand Anglais (English in French), I said NO. So please go away and leave me to my beautiful self."

The potter looked on sadly, as the lump of clay began to dry, and harden, so much so it was too hard to use. In profound sadness, the potter took the harden lump of clay and threw it into the bin. Then, he came and sat before the 2nd lump of clay, and reached out to it to mould it. But again as before, the lump of clay whispered ever so softly to the potter,

"Pllllease be gentle with me? My mother has alllways given me whatever I wanted, and I never really suffered much pain or punishment before, so I'm afraid I cannot withstand much. Just nudge me a little here and there, and it will be enough!"

"But I have great plans for you! I intend to sculpt you into a beautiful work of art, to make you into a statue that will be absolutely priceless!"

"But I cannot take suffering! Just nudge me a little here and there. That's enough for me!"

"Hm, alright then. What do you want to be?"

"Well, make me a fish! Make many fishes out of me!"

"Fishes?? But I have such better plans for you! Very well then, I will do as you say."

Then, the potter began to mould small fishes out of the 2nd lump of clay. Being a master potter, such a task was simply too simple for him. When it was done, the clay fishes were sold for a dollar for a dozen. A little girl bought the fishes and began to play with them when she returned home. It brought her joy playing with it, but after a little while, the fishes broke, and returned back to dust.

The potter now saddened by the fate of the first two lumps of clay then turned to the 3rd clay. Before he could even address the clay, the clay shouted,

"MASTER POTTER!!!" The potter was obviously taken aback, as the 3rd lump of clay said,

"Oh, master potter, I have seen your son, and indeed, I want to look like him! Please, master potter, make me like your son!" The potter of course was highly amused, and also somewhat cynical, especially after what the previous lumps of clay had said to him.

"Well, why do you want to look like my son? What do you know about him?"

"Of course I know your son! While you are the master potter, your son deals with all the paper work, and delivers your orders to the other workers! He is so handsome and good in heart, so I want to be like him!"

"Well, it is a difficult thing you ask me to do, because I do not compromise in my craft. I will shape you and craft you, in ways you cannot imagine, in ways you cannot comprehend, and at times you will wish you never made this desicion, but trust in my skill and mastery, and I will see that you acheive what you asked. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

"Yes yes! Please begin now master potter!" With that the potter took the clay and began to knead it and pound it. At this, the clay cried out in pain, whimpering and crying.

"Please stop! You are hurting me!" But the potter ignore its cries and continued his pounding. After a little while, the clay became fine and smooth. The potter than took the lump of clay and placed it upon the spinner and began to spin it.

"Oh please stop! I'm feeling so dizzy! I can't take this anymore!" But the potter ignored his pleas again, and began to mould the clay. At the end of it, the clay felt terribly ill and thirsty. The potter than fed the clay with a pill and gave it water to drink. As the clay drank hungrily, the potter took out a knife.

"What is that for?!"

"Why, it is to sculpt you and refine you! To cut out all the parts that does not look like my son!"

The potter began cutting, and the clay began protesting and screaming in pain.

"Please stop it! Don't you love me anymore? Why do you tortured me so, you cruel potter? Why??" the potter cried with overwhelming sadness. After what seemed like eternity, the potter stopped cutting. The clay heaved a sigh of relief, but its relief was shortlived, as the potter took it and placed it into the dark oven.

"First you pound me, then you spin me around, then you cut me. Now you are going to BURN me???"

"My dear dear clay, I do not burn you without a purpose. After spending your time in the oven, you will be shining like glass, smooth and glazed - a beautiful work of art!"

"But what if I get burnt? I am sure to get burnt!"

"You will not, because I will be here. I will be here always to control the temperature. I will adjust it from time to time, ensuring the heat is just right. Too little will cause you to be matte, and too much will burn you. But trust in me! I will make sure you never burnt. My eye will be on you, and on the clock always." With that, the potter turned up the fire.

"Ahhh!!! It's so hot!! I can't take this anymore! I'm going to die! Oh please stop this!" But the potter ignored his pleas, his hands always on the dial controlling the heat, his eye always watching the clay and the clock. After a long long while, the potter finally turned off the heat, and left the room. The potter sat there in the oven, watching the potter walk away, leaving him all alone. 'Perhaps this is my lot in life, to live in darkness, to suffer and to be forgotten in this dark oven. Why did I ever ask the potter to mould me? Maybe I would be so much better off just being the way I was before..." With that, the clay began to cry, it's tears pouring down his face...

2 days later, as the clay sat in the oven brooding over his fate, he heard the familiar steps of the potter. It's heart lifted, as the potter opened the door of the oven, and smiled when he saw the clay. The clay remained silent as he looked at the master. The master then sat the clay in the most prominent part of his house, and blew the dust of the clay's face. The clay was so puzzled by the potter's behaviour, and looked around itself, and saw many other beautiful works of animals and trees, but it stood above all of them. But in the midst of all this beauty, it caught itself in the reflection of a mirror. The clay began to cry, not in sadness, but in overwhelming joy.

In its reflection, the clay saw himself, a shining statue bearing the exact resemblance of the Potter's Son, his body shining in the Potter's fullest glory and mastery, his features standing out in the Son's perfection. Even after all the suffering, the pain and the fire, the clay said to himself.

"Praise be to the Potter! For it was all worth it..."

This is a beautiful story...no? :)

.?.?.

2005-06-15T07:27:00.000-07:00

just returned from church meeting of which i must say, was rather enlightening especially when lillian shared bout Jeremiah 29:11-13. yes, what she said was very true. i personally feel that christians are so stuck in their own comfort zone, that God will give them a destiny and what not. but verse 12 says to PRAY and SEEK Him. yes indeed. many christians today don't know how to seek God's face. knowing the Lord is not something that God will serve to us on a silver platter, but as Paul has written, we are to FIND the Spirit. many christians don't understand this. but the walk with Lord has no end. the only end is when we move on and see God face to face in His fullest glory. but until then, God will ask us to be accountable to Him. our talents and blessings that He has given us. even i can't honestly say i am ready to meet God.

yup. and i intend to speak about this during chaplain's hour at school. God has convicted me to share so i will! haha.. pray for me ya..

>:(

2005-06-14T00:00:00.000-07:00

i feel SO incredibly cheated. yes indeed. I woke up today to a bright and sunny day, so i thought it would be a great weather for a tan. so, i happily packed my stuff and headed for tampines swimming complex.

Then LO AND BEHOLD. it was under construction. -_-. i tell you that swimming complex is HUGE. and the WHOLE place was in rubbles and you can hear pneumatic drills going "CLANK CLANK CLANK...". i was pissed to say the least lah, but then nevermind. got safra.

so i got on bus 23 and headed straight there and waited at the counter for the woman and the man to finish their annoying conversation before i asked how much was the entry. $3.15. o.0. its DAYLIGHT ROBBERY. but nevermind. since i was already there anyways. but then, when i got to the pool, it was crowded with human beings. >:(. so i left. yup. a wasted trip. but what bugged me most was that i vaguely saw jus ooonnee bench left untouched, free for people to lie on it and bake themselves. >:(

but nevermind again. im meeting alfred n james on saturday before church service for a tan! just hope that it won't be cloudy.

*crosses fingers*

yup. the 43 salvations we had didn't come easy, but it's going to be even harder holding on to them. not only is the idiot monkey who is better known as mr. S.A.Tan is really waging a major spiritual warfare not only against the new believers but also us, the older ones. i can feel it. must pray harder liao. yes, fellow believers pray for us too. :) we'll be needing your prayers. by God's grace, i pray that we can keep the 43 salvations. amen..

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

2005-06-09T00:29:00.000-07:00

What a life-changing experience. Absolutely wonderful. I just returned from my church camp and I must say - WOW. No wonder God ka chiaoed me so much to let go of Rapture and to come for this camp. Now I understand. In going for this camp, my faith was really stretched, and I am so much closer to God then I ever have been. Let me give you a day by day description....

DAY 1
When i first arrived at the camp site, I was pretty...saddened by the whole place. It was held at Girl's Brigade Headquarters and it wasn't exactly the coolest place to sleep overnight. I wasn't remotely excited or happy. In fact, I had toyed with the idea of not going to the camp. But heck, I went anyway. The first day started off with games which I will admit was exceedingly fun...especially the game Geryl Tan was in-charge of where we had to be holding a cardboard box around us and try some way or another to use ur legs and head to get a huge yellow ball with a smilely face (the ball had to be 2 metres in diameter). I can still remember how incredibly retarded I feel trying to whack an oversized smilely ball without my hands. After the games, we washed up and headed for the worship hall for the night sessions and just went CRAZY for JESUS. After all that awesome worship, we settled down for the Word of God led by Pastor Ben, our much beloved crazy youth pastor. But what strike me most was not the worship that night, but what transpired during the prayer at the end of the session. Pastor Ben received a conviction from the Holy Spirit and called for us to go to those we had grudges and unforgiveness against and forgive them and pray for them. There were so many broken hearts and weeping that night and I could really feel that was God convicting us. But the most awesome thing was when Stanley, one of our youths, went up and took the mike as the prayer session was about to end and asked for forgiveness for hating his brother so much (his brother was also there at the camp - Leslie). And Leslie was praying that he might be able to forgive his brother for hating him RIGHT BEFORE Stanley took the mike. And what followed after that was a really beautiful scene of two brothers hugging and weeping in reconciliation, and this got me thinking about MY own family, what I could have done and what I should do. Indeed, the Holy Spirit lead me to make a resolution to be different in my family, to be more loving and tolerant and SHOW my forgiveness rather than just forgiving, for what difference is it to forgive someone yet treat them as though I haven't forgiven them?

DAY 2
The second day started with us stoning almost the whole morning through because of the late night. After my group prepared breakfast and ate with the rest, we proceeded to have morning devotion with my group which I must admit, wasn't too productive because of the heat. After which, we went on to have a teaching session. It was then I was convicted by God once again. I had always felt that i knew more than most about Christ and that I was much more matured than many other in spirit, so much so I felt that with a little more training I can become a leader at church. It was then during the teaching session about discipleship ( a lesson I had already learnt, ironically) that I realised why my spiritual walk could not progress recently, because I was too prideful. Ok now imagine this - an empty glass. The only way to fill this empty glass with water to its complete capacity that it can hold is when it is empty. But, the glass will never be truly filled if there are pebbles in it. And so these pebbles represent my pride and what I felt about myself, my position in God. It was only when I broke myself and reduced myself to nothing, that God can fill me to my fullest and in fact, till I overflow. And so this included submitting myself to the return to the basic teachings (the group I was placed in was for those who were considered more spiritually infant if I'm not mistaken) of Christ which is discipleship. It was also then iIrealised that a leader of God's people is not one who has preconceived notions about himself, but rather, one who believes he is nothing and that he is but a servant to those he leads. After the teaching sessions, we had a great time playing this game Douglas (games in-charge) created called Star Wars. It simply was just a wet game that turned out to be pretty fun! After dinner, we moved once more to the worship hall for another night session. This night, however, was to intercede and pray for Game ACCELERATE which i will elaborate later. I have never came before the Lord so easily before, and before I knew it I was on my knees worshipping the Lord. It was in this time that we interceded for the lost souls, so much so that not a single eye in that room was dry. There was much weeping and crying out in sheer desperation for those who did not have Jesus and God in their lives. In that time we prayed for the 700 souls that we had asked God for and we prayed and prayed even though at times our faith wavered. But prior to this camp, during my daily quiet time a week before the camp, I was led by God to read verses and parables that spoke of FAITH; every single day were verses that spoke about faith. And so, after the night session was over, we broke up into our groups and continued to pray for Game ACCELERATE. For some reason, I wanted to pray for it. I just felt this need and desire and want to pray for the lost souls and for ourselves. This was the burden that the Holy Spirit placed upon my heart that night, and we prayed till 11+. After that, we settled for supper and got back to bed in anticipation for the next day...

DAY 3
The day started off with breakfast as usual, followed by morning devotion and teaching session. Teaching session today was really enriching, about demonization and bondage to sin. We also learnt much about deliverance. It was also today that God made a deeper impression on me that I did not know as much as I thought I did, because truly, much of the lesson that was taught I really didn't know. After which, came a deliverance session. I tell you, the air was tense. Everyone was obviously twitchy about confessing their sins and bondages and being prayed for. I took the leap of faith and penned down the things that held me in bondage that I would not have confessed. Then, deliverance came and it was a life-changing experience. As Alvin(my group leader) was praying for me and commanding the spirit of sin in me to leave, I began to feel the spirit moving about in my body, especially my torso, as if it were trying to hide and escape. Then, the praying intensified and I began to shake and shiver and I couldn't control it. I could then feel it moving up my throat, and stayed there like a lump lodged there, stubborn to let go. After that, I could feel it slowly oozing out of my mouth as in breathed out slowly. The air that came out was unusally warm if I might add. After the deliverance session, we had lunch and geared up for Game ACCELERATE. Game ACCELERATE is all about going out to the streets and asking complete strangers to come back to the campsite with us and have a FREE BBQ and free performance by us. The team that brings back the most people will get the most points! A simple game with simple rules, but for all off us, it was most probably the HARDEST thing we ever did. Imagine going up to a complete stranger and asking him/her to come to Girl's Brigade campsite to have a free meal on us and free performance, and risking rejection and ridicule. And now in retropect, this whole game is not so different from Jesus's death on the cross, where He died for the world- past, present and future- and gave the gift of free salvation for them, yet many rejected Him and even ridiculed Him. Yet He did not waver, He did not hate or bore grudges, but continued to save and rescue because His undying love for His people was too great to be shaken by rejection and ridicule. And so it was in the same way that outof desperation and love for this lost generation propelled us beyond the mocking whispers of those that rejected our offer. It was truly amazing to see how God used the young ones so powerfully. In the midst of Orchard Road, girls and boys from our church camp as young as 12 dared to invite complete strangers to come. Neither did God spare the timid and silent ones like Alethia, who went as far as to go on her knees in front of everyone in Orchard Road and begged for strangers to come, and continued to invite even after countless rejections. Amazing - simply amazing how powerfully the annoiting of God fell upon all of us. Nevertheless, after all the fake numbers and fake names, the no-shows who promised to turn up, about a hundred strangers came, of which most were from the streets and the rest were people whom we had invited. We started with games to warm up before proceeding to have dinner. After which, many people left and the number dwindled down to about 40-50. Some of us began to feel discouraged and I myself am not spared. But then I just left it all to God and allowed Him to take control of it all. After dinner we began the evangelistic service, where REVIVAL GENERATION just went CRAZY for the Lord. I could see on the faces of the non-believers that they were amused at our behaviour and our passion during the worship session. After that, we settled down for a time for testimonies by our youths. Douglas started off and it was a simple testimony, yet it showed God's awesomeness and promise to His people and His sovereignty. Then, Song Mei shared her testimony and it was indeed a POWERFUL testimony. It was so touching that even I couldn't hold back my tears. Her testimony spoke of God's eternal and undying love, and how much He wants us even though we are nothing in His sight, even though we are dipped in the darkness of sin and our brokeness and sin are all that we have to offer Him. It was then I received a vision of myself lying in a dark cave, alone and suffering the stench, then at the mouth of the cave came a brilliant light, and a man walked towards me and reached out to me, touching my arm and marring the perfectness of his skin with my dirt, and picked me up, leading me out of the cave with an expression that only bespoke of love. It was in this vision, I was reminded of how I was saved, and it was in this that an even deeper burden for my generation was placed upon my heart. Then, came Pastor Ben's testimony which was more light-hearted, but in no way was the weight of the message lightened. Altar call came and by then I had tears running down my face as I prayed and begged for God's Spirit to fall upon the non-believers and open their hearts and free their minds from that veil of lies created by the one of this world. It was then I heard Pastor Ben saying " yes, i see that hand, thank you....Yes! I see another!...." and it went on and on and i prayed harder and louder, then when it was time to pray the sinner's prayer, my mind just blew. 5/6 of the people present gave their lives over to the Lord. HALLEJULAH. It was indeed the harvesting of lost souls. In that moment, I realised that the 700 that God promised to give us was not to be NOW, but in His timing. But then and now, I don't want 700. I want a generation. What we have seen today was but a glimpse of God's glory and His power, and the Holy Spirit promises to give us more. That night was truly an awesome night, where people from the streets were just taken and they were saved. Indeed, a revival is about to take place, because what was acheived that night WILL create ripples in the Singapore community and the Christian community, and I know for sure that what has transpired will propel other youth ministries to get up and ACCELERATE for God, that it will spark a wave of revival in the area of evangelism, for I can feel that God is telling me that the Church in Singapore is growing lukewarm and that the blessings that He has given to us is not for us to enjoy for ourselves but instead, to be accountable for, for the more blessings we have, the greater our responisbility is. Therefore, a wave of evangelistic revival will sweep throught the nation and indeed this year WILL be a harvesting of lost souls and God's perfect glory will descend upon this nation in a manner such that it has never been or ever will be again. AMEN. That night, we wanted to worship the night through and praise God for the amazing thing that He had done in our sight, of how he used such imperfect vessels such as us to carry out His perfect will.

DAY 4
Today, we woke up as usual at the same time and had breakfast before packing up things. We then proceeded to the worship hall once more for a final worhsip session. We sat down and began sharing our experiences throughout the camp. Then, the camp commitee confessed that thye themselves had not carried much hope in Game ACCELERATE, and that they too were frightened if it did not turn out the way we had expected. Also, on the 2nd day of the camp, we pledged sacrifially for the renting of the sound system and the food for the evangelistic service on day 3 and amazingly, we raised 3500+ dollars. AMAZING, given that we only had 70 odd campers. A 500 dollar cheque came in from somewhere and it went up to 4000+ dollars. Indeed, God was at work. And we made a desicion today, to cross the line and live for JESUS, to carry out His will through us, to live as He had lived, to follow Him wherever He leads us, to give up all that we dream of and desire and instead take up the desperation to follow in His spirit, to hand over our future to Him in exchange of the destiny He has ordained for us. I made the desicion to cross the line, as all of us did, and in doing so, I gave my life over to the King of Kings. After the session, we gather at the lobby for a photo taking session, and then an AMAZING THING HAPPEN!! Suddenly, Alexia saw some glittery thing on her arm and joked that it was glory dust (glory dust is a manifestation of God's glory, a physical manifestion of His miracle,because this very very fine, shining dust will just appear out of nowhere). And when she walked into the sunlight, she could see it ALL over her arm. After rubbing and rubbing, the glory dust never went away. Then, a group of us clustered together to see it then one of us laughed that maybe she had it too. And so she lifted her hand to look at it, and she too had glory dust on her hand!!! Then, i lifted mine and looked at it, and indeed, there was glory dust on my hand too. Then, i dragged Lillian (Pastor Ben's wife) and asked her to look at her own hand, and indeed she too had glory dust on her hand. Pastor Ben also had it, in fact, everyone had glory dust on their hands. This, obviously, was God's blessing upon us, and that we have been annoited by God to go forth and continue the work we have begun - the harvesting of lost souls for the Lord.

All in all, the camp was a life-changing experience. For those who are not Christians reading this, I pray that you will come to know the Lord. If you really are interested and is seeking for someone to ask, feel free to come down to Revival Centre Church in Novena at Moulmein Rise. AMEN... :D :D :D :D

0.0

2005-06-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

yes. i just read corinne's blog and realised that mine is so incredibly inferior to her's. i don't know how she does it, but she manages to get photos into her entries. ok FINE. im a computer retard. i can't even understand html. her entries are so FUN to read. seriously, you people should go down there and read it. n i got to sell my TICKETS!!! AHHHH!!! i havent sold one yet. x_x. waiting for my pre-u sem frens to buy from me... my cousins like... want to buy... dnt want.... want to buy... dnt want... hai. i can only confirm the sales AFTER the hols. x_x

wishing....wishing...

2005-06-03T08:50:00.000-07:00

missing it. of course. wat could i possibly miss at this point of time. DANCE. i need to MOVE. hai...sometimes i wonder, if i had stayed on, what kind of relationships i could have forged. ah well. im wishing on a star. but as much as i do miss it, i don't regret the choice i made. now, my next desicion is if im going to seek God's face instead of waiting for God to seek me. hai.... im waiting for a dance ministry to be set up, but sometimes, i wonder if God really has a plan for this desire of mine to dance. hm. ill just wait and see.

have you....

2005-05-31T07:29:00.000-07:00

...ever had the experience of letting something go, and in doing so lose control over anything and everything that surrounds the latter? well if you haven't then let me tell you that it's not pleasant at all. imagine letting go of something you so truly love to do, only to realise that later on, the things that came along with it will disappear too? and especially when that thing you've just let go off is something which is a big part of your life? hai. i know i know. you reading this must be thinking if i've gone bonkers.

i miss the thing that i let go. that i gave up under a greater calling. and sometimes i wonder what does that greater calling have in store for me. sure, i have faith that what i have given up will not be returned with nothingness, rather with even greater beauty, but sometimes i wonder how long more. NS, then uni (if i ever get there by His will). and in letting go, there's this yawning pit in my life. i try to fill it with what i am suppose to fill it with, but i can't seem to do so. instead of reprieve, i find myself fighting back even harder against the things that cannot wait to see my fall, to gloat over my stumblings, to sneer over my mistakes. but i know that He is faithful. santification? mayhaps...

well, to the layman, i'm just babbling nonsense here. but to my brothers and sisters in Him, well, you know exactly what im talking about...